For Marines in Afghanistan: be careful where you fart

717

Photo by MC2(AW) Jonathan David Chandler

Marine Corps Times is a family newspaper and we only rarely have offensive language in our stories.

But this week the word “fart” appears in a story I wrote about the importance of trust between Marines and the Afghan national army soldiers they work with.

I didn’t want to write this little blog entry about farts. It’s not even on my beat. But my colleague Dan Lamothe, whose byline you have seen here quite often, shamed me into it.

“You owe it to all Marines,” he told me.

So here’s the news:  audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.

I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard.  Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.

They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).

But farting?  That’s practically a sport.  Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.

So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned — you may have to hold it in… at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.

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717 Comments

  1. Are you kidding me. With the shit we had to eat i was farting none stop. I mean really all the MREs and UGRs all you do is fart.

  2. No offense to the higher ups who are enforcing these rules and supposedly leading marines, but you are weak, you make us look weak, and you constantly wonder why the Best Marines get out after 4 years. You think holding your mre farts is gonna make the taliban lay down their arms. Come on. Chesty would be very disappointed. I love the Corps in some ways but man you are killing it. If this military used all this kindness in old wars we wouldn’t last long until an NCO stepped-up and took charge. Just saying. Carry on.

  3. If we can’t fart around the Afghans then they should stop wiping their fecal matter all over the port-o-potty’s. Fair trade.

  4. FartingMarine on

    Farting is considered a contest when underway. Next thing they’re gonna do is take away throwing rocks, talkin about our woman, sharing poop stories, and the rest of the things Marines do when we have nothing else besides waiting to wait. General Sir, I am disinclined to aquester your request. Semper Fidelis, Yat-Yas, The good stuff

  5. Really? We are worried about offending people who crap in the corner of their own living space. On a daily basis Marines are accosted by the grotesque living conditions of the ANA and ANP, assaulted by non-stop request to go to the sack with them, have to put up with their complete incompetence, have to worry about whether or not their ANA and ANP tag along is going to bail during a fire fight (or shoot at you, or maybe he is the one who put that IED in place), but we can’t fart in front of them. Sure thing. Maybe the guy who made this call should step away from his desk for a minute and put eyes on what’s really happening down range.

  6. momof2marines on

    Oh…my…word…..Time to come home, boys. Lest we offend the delicate sensibilities of those gentile Afghans.

  7. This PC (pure crap) has to come to an end. Tell me a story about any war we’ve won since the U.N. stuck its nose in it. Then we can talk about the submarines with 16″ guns that resurfaced. Who ever won a war by being nice?

  8. So, let me get this right. For a culture who looks at female life as less than that of a farm animal, who educates almost no one, who wipes their ass with their hand, and will have sex with farm animals; farting is offensive? Here’s the problem with our leadership, we have no leadership with any balls. Further, please don’t apologize for saying “fart”, you are not a family newspaper as high schoolers are not lining up to read your paper. Apologizing for using the word fart is offensive.

  9. I’m a retired Jarhead over here right now as a slimy civilian. I think I will make a point of busting ass every time I see an Afghan anywhere near me, just for my brother who “can’t”. Semper Fi!

  10. Pingback: No Joke: Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Because It "Offends" The Locals… | Stopping the spread of Sharia in America

  11. Pingback: No Joke: Marines In Afghanistan Ordered Not To Fart Because It “Offends” The Locals… | Stopping the spread of Sharia in America

  12. How and the heck are you supposed to open a can of whoopass without lettting the gas out

  13. soon, you wont be able to use that word at all. so learn some others to replace it..

    Other words for flatus: the nouns: the gas, the product itself, the sound, the types.

    aerosolized stool (contributed by Barb F.)

    after dinner mint (contributed by MW)

    aftershocks (small farts that emerge after a large one – contributed by Cory)

    air

    air attack (contributed by Hambone)

    air biscuit (contributed by IFlatulant)

    air monkey (contributed by ILuvDAC)

    air pigeon (contributed by Darivian)

    air poop (contributed by Tony)

    almond toast (contributed by ifartoften)

    anal acoustics (contributed by Hambone)

    anal escape of wind

    anal exhale (contributed by umrox)

    anal emissions

    anal oxide

    anal retreat (contributed by Hambone)

    anus evacuation (contributed by SobrXSot)

    Arkansas barking spiders (contributed by DrtTweekr)

    ars musica

    arse blast (contributed by WT of Scotland)

    a– dropping (contributed by Dan S.)

    a– flapper (contributed by Chris of Texas)

    atmosphere of Uranus

    backblast (contributed by Craig T.; the “backblast area” is where the fart can be detected; upon dissipation of the odor, one can announce “Backblast area all clear!”)

    backdoor trumpet

    back draft (contributed by Steve R.)

    back end blow out (contributed by PolarBare4)

    bae (Danish – contributed by Casper)

    barking rats

    barking spiders

    barley boast (a beer fart — contributed by ifartoften)

    bean bombers (contributed by Phil W. and Pat N.)

    bean fumes (contributed by Chris(Topher))

    beaver leaver (contributed by Hambone)

    beer fart

    belching clown (contributed by Hambone)

    big spit-up (contributed by Acemantsb)

    bilabial fricative

    bingo (contributed by Anne)

    blampf (contributed by Zack W.)

    blanket bomb (contributed by ifartoften)

    blare-a– (contributed by Spider J.)

    blinking browneye (contributed by brakthejedi)

    blow-by (a fart that smells especially awful because it blew by a turd – contributed by Jane of NC)

    blow fish

    blue angel (ignited fart)

    blue bomber

    blue darts (ignited fart – contributed by Ghoul)

    blurp (contributed by Snoopidog)

    bologna sandwich essence

    boomper letters

    booty bomb (submitted by Nsanedane)

    bork (the sound made by a fart when you press down in the bathtub – contributed by DeSmReed)

    bottom burp

    botty burp (England – contributed by Chris, Chedi Master of Derby)

    botty cough (England – contributed by Chris, Chedi Master of Derby)

    bram (Welsh – contributed by Merlyn)

    bratwurst bugle (contributed by ifartoften)

    bratwurst butt belch (contributed by brakthejedi)

    brewer’s fart (grains and all!) (from an 1811 slang dictionary, contributed by FOX)

    brown air biscuit (contributed by Ernie C.)

    brown-body radiation

    brown haze

    brown mist

    brown speckled mallard (a misty fart)

    brownster (contributed by Craig1573)

    brun canard

    bubblers

    bubbling acid (contributed by ifartoften)

    buck snort or bucksnort (a particularly loud fart – contributed by Brandon of Shreveport and Ech T.)

    bull snort (contributed by ThetaGravy)

    bum and flutter

    bung blast (submitted by Nsanedane)

    bunghole buzzer (contributed by Ernie C.)

    bunsen burners

    burners

    burp that went astray

    burp that comes out the wrong end

    butt bark (contributed by ifartoften)

    butt bomb (contributed by Ernie C.)

    butt bongos (contributed by ifartoften)

    butt breather (contributed by umrox)

    butt burps (contributed by the Robinsons)

    butt cheek bubbles (farts emitted underwater – contributed by casey m.)

    butt cheek squeak (contributed by Pookie)

    butthole blowout (contributed by brakthejedi)

    butt moose (contributed by D.W.A.)

    butt mutt (contributed by Hambone)

    butt trumpets (a rumblimg, bubbling trumpet-sounding fart – contributed by S.MO.)

    butt wind (contributed by Chris of Texas)

    cabbage captivator (contributed by ifartoften)

    can o’ chedder (contributed by Craig1573)

    carpet creeper (contributed by Steve R.)

    case of swamp a– (contributed by Bazzbull)

    Chanel No. 2 (contributed by ifartoften)

    cheeser

    cheese toasty (contributed by Craig1573)

    chemical warfare (contributed by Wyld-Side)

    chert (Palauan)

    chili killy (contributed by ifartoften)

    chold (Palauan)

    chou pi (Chinese for “stinking fart” – contributed by George S.)

    chunder (contributed by Tony of Belfast)

    churchhouse creepers

    Cincinatti cyanide (contributed by ifartoften)

    colon calamities (contributed by PLIC2K)

    colon cologne (contributed by Tod G.)

    cooked cauliflower cocktail (contributed by ifartoften)

    cornhole tremor (contributed by Nukiks)

    crack rattler (contributed by Ernie C.)

    crepidus (Latin – contributed by Chris V.)

    crunchy frog

    cushion creepers

    cyanide substitute (contributed by ifartoften)

    davebrok (a stop-and-go kind of fart – contributed by Skeetkix)

    death poot (contributed by meg)

    deer grunt (contributed by BassMaster4684)

    deer snort

    dej (Danish – contributed by Casper)

    desert varnish (a wet fart)

    dirt road dust (contributed by ifartoften)

    doofu (Oromo of Ethiopia – contributed by Reed)

    doozer (contributed by Snoopidog)

    doozy (contributed by Hambone)

    double flutterblast (contributed by gallagher)

    drifters

    drig (Armenian — contributed by PorschFrk)

    drive by (contributed by EMINEMIllI)

    duck call (contributed by BassMaster4684)

    Dutch oven (farting in bed and pulling the covers over one’s head to smell it – contributed by Janice M.)

    eggy whiffo (a particularly sulfurous emission – contributed by Stiv)

    EPA red alert (contributed by ifartoften)

    essence of Emeril (contributed by Mesdabom)

    essence of the anus (contributed by TrollForce Programming Team)

    evacuation siren (contributed by ifartoften)

    excreted gas

    explosion between the cheeks

    extreme fumagatory essence

    fang pae (Chinese – contributed by PGotelli)

    fang pi (Chinese – contributed by George S.)

    fannitosis

    fanny beep (contributed by Phil W. and Pat N.)

    fanny bubble (contributed by squall5)

    fanny halitosis

    fart

    fart combo (2 or more farts made within 5 seconds of each other – contributed by red arse)

    fartrogen dioxide (1940s era term – contributed by Rick Taylor)

    Fartvergnugen (based on Volkswagen’s slogan: fahrvergnugen, “describing a pleasurable experience – contributed by Jordan B.)

    fat lady delight

    fecal clouds (contributed by Nukiks)

    fickle fuzz (contributed by Spider J.)

    fing (Hungarian – pronounced “feeng” – contributed by BOOTS)

    fingi

    fire in the hole (an ignited fart – contributed by Hambone)

    fizz (contributed by CS Rondeau, Spider J.)

    fizz-fuzz (contributed by CS Rondeau)

    fizzy fuzz (contributed by Dick R.)

    flabbergaster

    flame throwers

    flaming cornhole (contributed by JAG)

    flatulence

    flatulencia (Spanish)

    flatus

    flooper (contributed by Phyllis)

    fluff

    flurpies

    flutterblast (contributed by Ernie C.)

    fly breaking the sound barrier (contributed by Smoopuppy)

    foo-foo (contributed by Hambone)

    foyon (Puerto Rican Spanish slang for a loud, smelly fart – contributed by Jeannie H.)

    frump (an underwater fart — contributed by Yellybrat)

    Furz (German – contributed by Gray)

    fuss (Lebonese) (contributed by james)

    the fuzz (contributed by CS Rondeau, Spider J.)

    the fuzz=fizz (contributed by CS Rondeau)

    gas

    gasser

    gastronomical reprocussion (contributed by Lisa)

    General Colon Bowel barking commands (contributed by Hambone)

    gooz (Persian – contributed by Armond)

    gross wind

    grosse humours

    guano-talk

    gou pi (Chinese for “dog fart” – contributed by George S.)

    grounds for divorce (contributed by ifartoften)

    grunghee (contributed by Deego)

    gurglers

    ham slam (contributed by ifartoften)

    hanger (“the killer that emerges the morning after two days of drinking and permeates everything, making whatever room you were in unusable for at least half an hour” – contributed by Rob C.)

    he (Japanese – pronounced “hay” – contributed by Jarrod)

    Hershey Park (the atmospheric area occupied by a fart – contributed by pooeater)

    Hershey splert (fart accompanied by a tad of diarrhea – contributed by BoB)

    Hershey smoke (contributed by ifartoften)

    hissers

    hole in the wall gang (multiple farts – contributed by Hambone)

    honksa (Choctaw – pronounced “honk-sa” — contributed by Thrashforever)

    hot wind (contributed by BLCO7)

    Hun Futza (German for “dog fart” – contributed by DrummerDanDogg)

    hurricane (contributed by Ryan)

    hydrogen bombs

    ignimbrite (ignited fart)

    Japanese barking beetles (term used by servicemen stationed in Japan – contributed by Rob A.)

    Jersey torch (ignited fart, from the movie “IQ” – contributed by Barb F.)

    jetwash (from Top Gun – contributed by ThetaGravy)

    jockey jelly (contributed by ifartoften)

    kabooms (farts that hurt – submitted by Cpt. BooBerry)

    kanala (Danish – submitted by Mary S.)

    lactose liberation (contributed by ifartoften)

    laughing a– (contributed by Wyld-Side)

    the leather cheerio bark (contributed by Zack W.)

    lingers

    lort (Danish – contributed by Casper)

    love puff (England – contributed by Chris, Chedi Master of Derby)

    low flying geese (contributed by DjMightyMike)

    low flying jets (contributed by TUTS314)

    machine gun sound effects (contributed by ifartoften)

    massive vapor of butt gas (contributed by Pittimunga)

    message from the interior (contributed by Steve R.)

    methane

    misdirected burp

    Missouri mud ducks (contributed by Deb)

    moon beam (contributed by Hambone)

    morning thunder

    mouse (contributed by Phyllis)

    mousie squeak

    mudslapper (contributed by Spittoon)

    mush (contributed by Snoopidog)

    musical butt (contributed by Ubu3)

    the nether belch

    nicotine stains in the Hanes (contributed by ifartoften)

    nitrogen nerve gas (contributed by ifartoften)

    nuée ardent (a hot fart that rolls down the leg burning off all the hairs in its path)

    nwonk (a fart that sounds like a trumpet – contributed by desi42187)

    one-cheek sneaks

    paad (Hindi – contributed by Sandeep K.)

    pants geese (contributed by Zack W.)

    pants puffer (contributed by Ernie C.)

    passed flatus

    passed gas

    peaches

    pedo (Spanish)

    peido (Portuguese -contributed by Rafael G.P.)

    peo (Spanish, used in Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and other Latin American regions – contributed by Ancsea)

    pet (French)

    petard (contributed by Pitdeolive)

    phewie

    pip (contributed by andymac)

    pluts

    poelse (Danish – contributed by Casper)

    poodles (contributed by stephalbert)

    poof (contributed by Hambone)

    poofume (contributed by andymac)

    poo gas (contributed by HeMan)

    pooh

    pooh noise (contributed by Amanda J.)

    poop fumes (contributed by SPC)

    poop without the mess

    poopy tunes (contributed by brendan)

    poot (contributed by Snoopidog)

    pooty pants (contributed by Rz)

    popcorn fart (a dry fart) (contributed by IFlatulant)

    pop tarts

    power poof (contributed by Hambone)

    preets (contributed by Jetdogy)

    prison break (contributed by Hambone)

    proot-proots (French – contributed by DD Ramsey)

    prootsie (contributed by Jetdogy)

    prut (Danish – contributed by Casper)

    pudd (Punjabi – contributed by Sandeep K.)

    puffer

    puh

    puk (Russian – pronounced “pook” – contributed by Gray)

    pulpmiller

    pum (Portuguese -contributed by Rafael G.P.)

    purple clouds (as in “I can’t smell nothin’ but them purple clouds is sho stingin my eyes!” – contributed by Chris H.)

    putt-putts (contributed by Agnes)

    queef (vaginal fart)

    queve (a frontal emission from a woman – contributed by Rz)

    rambunctious rectum (contributed by PLIC2K)

    rames (Palauan) (specifically a high-pitched, long, drawn-out fart)

    rare arse (quiet, undulating gentle sound – contributed by Ron C., from father’s Royal Navy terms)

    rattler (contributed by Dick M.)

    rectal turbulence (contributed by Randy C.)

    rectum roar (contributed by Ernie C.)

    report

    ringo (contributed by Stiv)

    ringtailed roarer (contributed by Ron C., from father’s Royal Navy terms)

    rip a– (contributed by DrummerDanDogg)

    ripship (contributed by Spider J.)

    the ripsh– (contributed by CS Rondeau)

    ripskin (contributed by the Ripskin Club)

    ripsnorter

    road pizza perfume (contributed by ifartoften)

    roevgas (Danish – contributed by Casper)

    rump ripper (contributed by Ernie C.)

    rup rap (diarrhea propelled by flatus – contributed by Tony of Belfast)

    the scented scream (contributed by Zack W.)

    scheet (Dutch)

    seam squirrels (contributed by avernus)

    sh– fumes (contributed by SPC)

    sh– propellant

    sh– vapor (contributed by Anderson G.)

    sh– without the mess

    silent but deadly (SBD)

    silent but violent (SBV) (contributed by Acemantsb)

    silent depth charge (contributed by M.L.G.)

    silent killer (contributed by ifartoften)

    silent spadily

    sitter air (contributed by Kevin and Carol O.)

    skag (contributed by Bill J. and Matt K.)

    skid (Danish – contributed by Casper)

    skidmarks in the shorts (contributed by ifartoften)

    sliders

    smelly jelly (a wet fart – contributed by Rz)

    smell-o-rama (contributed by Hambone)

    smelts (contributed by Hambone)

    smoke rings from behind (contributed by ifartoften)

    smoofer (contributed by C. Whisman)

    snak (in the bathtub)

    S.O.D. (stench of death) (contributed by Wacankiyopi)

    some a–hole behind you talking sh– (contributed by DrtTweekr)

    sound spadily

    soytoy (contributed by Mark Z.)

    space shuttle launch (contributed by ifartoften)

    sphincter whistle (contributed by Nukiks)

    sphincturbulence (contributed by Hambone)

    spitters

    squeakers

    squib

    squiffer (submitted by Nsanedane)

    stainer (contributed by Snoopidog)

    stale wind (contributed by pdmetcalf)

    stench of death (contributed by Craig)

    stink

    stinker (contributed by Heather)

    surprise (a fart with a lump in it – contributed by K. Fisher of Virginia)

    svaerd (Danish – contributed by Casper)

    taco torpedo (contributed by ifartoften)

    talking pants (contributed by Zack W.)

    tear arse (loud, disturbing sound – contributed by Ron C., from father’s Royal Navy terms)

    tear a– (contributed by CS Rondeau)

    telegram (a message that poop’s on its way – from Proud Farter of Australia)

    terminal flatulence

    terminal velocity flatulence

    three tone fart (contributed by Acemantsb)

    thunder below (contributed by CAP1SGT0)

    thunder dumpling (contributed by Ernie C.)

    thunder in the buns

    tonage (contributed by Acemantsb)

    toop (contributed by Rz)

    tooters (contributed by Winters)

    toot-toots (contributed by Winters)

    trail fart (a fart that follows the farter – contributed by Jeremy C.)

    triple flutter blaster (contributed by Tobytalks)

    triple thunder flutter

    trouser cough (contributed by Price)

    trouser trumpet

    trump (England – contributed by Chris, Chedi Master of Derby)

    turtle (contributed by Tabitha)

    tushie belches (contributed by Mensa)

    tush tickler (contributed by Ernie C.)

    underpants lion (contributed by Zack W.)

    veirnt (contributed by Savage897)

    ventifact

    Victoria’s Secret’s worst nightmare (contributed by ifartoften)

    vind (Danish – contributed by Casper)

    voice of the toothless one (contributed by Jimmy K.)

    warp drive (contributed by Tom)

    wet fart (contributed by Mr. Gimpster)

    wet one

    whallop

    White Castle’s revenge (contributed by ifartoften)

    whootzie (contributed by DrummerDanDogg)

    wind

    wind beneath the cheeks (contributed by Tom R.)

    wind breakage (contributed by Kevin and Carol O.)

    windy pops

    wizard

    yelping spider (contributed by babybuddha)

    zephyr (contributed by BLCO7)

    Other words for flatulating: the verbs: the process, the act.

    backfire

    bake breeze biscuits (contributed by John K.)

    bake brownies (contributed by digitaIlll)

    bark

    bend a valve (contributed by Steve R.)

    blow a– (contributed by BassMaster4684)

    blow dirt (contributed by HimAgn)

    blow dust (contributed by HimAgn)

    blow a fart

    blow a gasket (a wet one — contributed by Steve R.)

    blow kisses (contributed by AimDoin)

    blow mud (contributed by HimAgn)

    blow one’s O-ring (contributed by LittleDavid)

    blow smoke

    blow the sparkplugs

    blurt

    boff (England – contributed by Chris, Chedi Master of Derby)

    boom-boom

    break the seam (to pass gas with high velocity or large volume) (contributed by Warren via Julie)

    break wind

    buang angin (Indonesian)

    bust a grumpy (contributed by pooeater)

    bust a– (contributed by Nettybugs)

    butt yodeling (contributed by Mary S.)

    chemold (Palauan)

    clear one’s throat

    cleft a boofer (contributed by Steve K.)

    colon bowlin’ (contributed by Hambone)

    cook eggs

    couper le fromage (French)

    crack a– (contributed by squall5)

    crack the ripper (contributed by brakthejedi)

    crepitate

    crop dusting (submitted by Bert of Lubbock) (refers to dropping one while walking past people)

    cut a gasser

    cut a melon

    cut chedder (contributed by Craig1573)

    cut muffins (contributed by digitaIlll)

    cut one

    cut the cheese

    cut the provolone

    deal one

    degas

    demonstrate Boyle’s Law (contributed by ifartoften)

    dot’dot (Chamoru)

    draw mud from the bottom of the pond (for wet farts – contributed by ThetaGravy)

    drop a– (contributed by Dan S.)

    drop a cookie

    drop a fart

    drop a ringo (contributed by Stiv)

    drop a rose

    drop one (contributed by IRISHGERRY)

    drop one’s guts (England – contributed by Chris, Chedi Master of Derby)

    effluviate (rural Pennsylvania – contributed by Mike F.)

    emit a fart

    erupt one (contributed by Craig)

    execute one (Australian – contributed by Shaun)

    fardullah

    fart

    fart like a popcorn machine (contributed by SimplyLucy)

    fessa (Egyptian Arabic – contributed by Tarek)

    flatulate

    float an air biscuit (contributed by IFlatulant)

    flutter the sheets (contributed by Pedge)

    frump

    furzen (German -contributrd by Gray)

    fuss (Lebonese) (contributed by james)

    get expelled from stool (contributed by Hambone)

    grunt (contributed by Ell & Mike)

    guff (contributed by Ell & Mike)

    heiny burp (contributed by UsKissels)

    he o koita (Japanese for “rip a fart” – pronounced “hay o’ koyita” – contributed by Jarrod)

    here comes Freddie

    Jag fis (Swedish for “I farted” – pronounced “yaw fees” – contributed by Slappyf)

    kentut (Indonesian)

    kill the canary (contributed by Malachi of Guam)

    launch a wifter (contributed by Hambone)

    lay a fart

    lay a jellybean (contributed by Toni of California)

    let a toot out the shoot (contributed by Ron J.)

    let a windy (contributed by Tom H. Jr.)

    let fly a fart

    let Freddie out of jail (contributed by Louie “Poohy” Oster)

    let Fred out (contributed by Ernie C.)

    let one

    let one rip (contributed by ifartoften)

    let wind fly (contributed by Kristen)

    make a bingo (contributed by Anne)

    make a stink

    make cheese

    make methane

    make some underleg noise (attributed to Ren of Ren and Stimpy; contributed by Maria)

    make the sheets flutter (contributed by Pedge)

    ot’ot (Tagalog)

    pass gas

    peidar (Portuguese -contributed by Rafael G.P.)

    peter (French)

    piffle

    play the butt trumpet (contributed by dean)

    pollute the atmosphere

    poopski

    poot

    pop corn (contributed by Missyjags)

    pop off (contributed by andymac)

    pritz (contributed by BOND0069)

    puf

    pukat (Russian – pronounced “pookat” – contributed by Gray)

    queimar a bota (Portuguese -contributed by Rafael G.P.)

    refine sh– particles (contributed by andymac)

    release intestinal gases

    ringo (contributed by Stiv)

    rip a– (contributed by BassMaster4684)

    rip one

    rip the canvas (contributed by andymac)

    roar from the rear

    sh– the bed (contributed by Phil W. and Pat N.)

    shoot bunnies (contributed by Grim’s mother)

    shoot the breeze (contributed by Tom R.)

    sink my battleship (contributed by MoonLily88)

    sneeze in one’s pants (contributed by BajaMerc200)

    spider’s barking (contributed by TamieToo)

    spill one’s guts (Australian – contributed by Wayne)

    split the seam (to pass a small but signficant amount of gas) (contributed by Warren via Julie)

    start a Harley (contributed by Steve R.)

    start the engine

    step on a duck (submitted by Tina J.)

    step on a frog

    step on a fart snake

    stink out loud

    stomp on the barking spider (contributed by ML)

    strike mud (contributed by Cuda2 of Georgia)

    strip a gear (contributed by Steve R.)

    supply it

    taint ripper (your taint in that little piece of skin between your a– and your whatsit?

    It taint a– and it taint whatisit – contributed by Mary S.)

    toot

    vent (contributed by Mosh6674)

    winden laten (Dutch)

  14. They can KISS MY FAT WHITE A– AS I PASS MY GAS!!! I fart all day just to keep a–hole away. Because, if I wanted to talk to an a–hole I fart.

  15. Rule written by an officer. Officers do not fart. Therefore, no one will fart.

    Why I retired with red stripes . I would say stuff about this kind of silliness. Not the Marine Corps I knew when I was a HM with them.

  16. To the “fartingmarine”…..I have 4 sons one of which was in the Marines. Whether it’s a Marine thing or not I think it’s the testosterone thing! These kids have been having contests ever since they realized those things STINK!! It’s a natural thing that’s for sure and medically speaking it’s very unhealthy to hold in!! I say … carry on!! 🙂

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  18. And they say we are winning! Bwhahahahahahahahha

    Bwhahahahahahaahahahahahhaha.

    ROFFMAO (Rolling on floor farting my a** off) 🙂

  19. CAPMarineTet68 on

    Felony Stupid. The ossifer who dreamed this one up should be made to run point on every patrol until we exit the country. After consuming a can of Ham and Muthas.

  20. Time to come back home boys! We wouldn’t want to offend these Afghans. By, the way, if farting is banned shouldn’t wiping your A*S with your hand after you SH*T be banned too for the Afghani’s?

  21. This will probably be the least popular comment in this thread, but I may as well let ‘er rip (as it were) anyway:

    Apparently, farting is considered offensive in most Islamic cultures because of the way men pray during services in mosques — that is, very prostrate to the ground and in tight rows. Basically, when Muslims’ faces are only a foot or so away from another man’s ass during prayer (which is a lot closer than my head is to my own ass at any given moment). It’s not hard to understand how the dude in front of you busting a– would throw you out of a moment of deep spiritual prayer and reflection. Over time, for what I understand, that unwritten rule of mosque etiquette has branched out into Muslim public life in general by people who preach living life outside of the house of God (or Allah … whatever) as one lives it inside.

    So there. Let me have it.

  22. That’s right, no farting, but buggering little boys is okie dokie in the Islamic world.

  23. Pingback: Foreign Policy meets Fart Policy « E PLURIBUS MORON

  24. Is this perfectly normal human function offensive only when it escapes from the body of an American? Are the natural born Afganistan people immune from this digestive dilemma? If we are at the point in our relationship where this has bcome too offensive to ignore, then perhaps we have worn out our welcome and should immediately withdraw our troops. I would rather hear and smell an entire platoon than see even one body-bag or flag-draped coffin.

  25. Just wondering here….if an Afghan happens to have one of ‘those’ days, you know-when something you ate just doesn’t agree with your innards (even if it’s something that you have had many times before), and he also has one of ‘those episodes’, you know-we’ve all had them, when the volume of gas is MUCH greater then he thought it was going to be, makes it’s noisy departure, is the Afghan going to be subject to what seems to be the typical muslim response to an “offense”, and literally lose his head because of it?

    I heard a lot of stupid sounding orders from higher up in my 24 years in the Navy. But being ordered not to fart loudly………..which UCMJ Article IS that anyway? Can you just imagine some young, borderline Marine, sitting “one more screw-up” from an Admin discharge, getting tossed out of the Corps because the “one more” was failing to hold back one of “those” farts?

    Truly, this redefines insanity!

  26. Just release at the same time as a .50 burst. Then the requisite denial, of course.

  27. Maybe that’s why the suicide bombers blow up so good! They’ve been holding it for hours. Maybe some of the more comedic ones just say screw it and let it rip….seconds before they blow everyone up!

  28. Are you farting around, or is this a serious order??
    What happens if you do loudly poss gass in front of one of these boy sodomizing, animal screwing worshipers of a false prophet?

    NJP? Courts Martial? EPD? Go to CC?

    Chesty Puller would weep for the Marines today… As would Commandant Gray!!
    The Corps is so damn busy trying to not offend a group of people, who’s outlandish adherence to a corrupt and bastardized ideal keeps them firmly entrenched in the 7th century, that it is costing us the lives of fellow Marines and other service members.

    Maybe we should just glass the whole area and be done with it…

  29. Why do you guys care? As long as you’re killing brown people you’ll still be heroes in your trailer parks back home.

  30. Matt from Calif on

    So, our guys are not supposed to react to their common practice of dancing-boy-raping, but we have to stop farting?

    To quote Monty Python, “I fart in your general direction”

  31. Pathetic. And a big hurrah to “Matt from Calif” (comment 42) and a big vertical butt stroke to “roeg” (comment 41) who appears to be a waste of skin. All GOOD Marines know how to fart smartly – and snap off a respectable hand salute at the same time. E. Perry, SSgt USMC, 1965-73, HMM-164 door gunner, Nam. Semper fi, gentlemen.

  32. Welcome to the kind of BS that ran the Nam. Keep the trigger finger twitching and maybe there won’t be so many to offend.

  33. Now THAT, skid, is one of the best treatments of the silliness associated with political correctness that is killing my Corps I’ve ever seen by a CC. Out-freaking standing.

  34. Chesty and John Basilone are having a WTF moment! If you are an 04 or above, read Cpl Jobe’s comment (above)

    Former Winger 04 – 7211

  35. Ron Crosswhite on

    This reminds me of the time our unit, (2nd Recon. Bn.) spent 2 weekd in the Pisgah Nat. Forrest, living on C rats. When we returned, our TAC had an IG inspection. A Colonel had us all, (about 25 or 30 men), in a classroom. The C rats gave me gas, big time. I cut the loudest fart anyone had ever heard. The Colonel stood there with his mouth hanging open for a moment before ordering the windows to be opened. I never lived that down.

  36. I think its sorta funny that Afghanis can go and take a dump on the side of the road or get it on with a goat in their front yard but passing gas is offensive. Really? Who gives a… flying fart what they think?

  37. I would be totally offended if I had to hold a fart for the sake of not offending the people I am trying to defend. Since they are so offended maybe they should be left to defend their own a_ses. These people have such high standards, they should be capable of a highly disciplined military of their own. God knows they got plenty of people.

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  39. I am not sure when the hect the marine corps started to give a fat flying damn what the afghanies thought. It sure seems like a far cry from the marines I knew and served with.

    I suppose some brass came up with the ideal or some suit inconus decided it was a good I deal to offend people that veiw women as property, rape farm animals on a regular interval, wipe their ass with their hand, smear shit all over the walls of the head, and kill little children for breaking some obscure islamic law…Yeah we really need to be on these peoples good side.

    Jesus christ, who the hell in runnning the Corps these years? Who ever it is…Do us all a favor, step aside and let the real marines, NCO’s and SNCO’s do their freaking jobs and come on home! If you do not own a set of salties step aside and let REAL devil dogs loose!

    Semper FI gents from a fat old Doc….Get er done, Let er Rip, and then for christ sakes come home safe fellers!

  40. There are 7 kinds of farts: fizz, fuzz, fizz-fuzz, poot, talley-poot, rimfire and asshole snort.

  41. Fuck Trashcanistan. Let em rot. If the Soviets couldn’t beat em with all their sneaky tricks, there’s no way the Kumbya US Military ever will.

  42. what the hell is going on, big deal, you fart when you feel like it, you stink for a little while and so what. As long as we are protecting these assholes we should fart when ever we want. What political asshole thought this up, give him the same food and see what he does with it. NUFF SAID!

  43. BanditZeroThree on

    Farting is a key moral builder. The act of having a compatriot yank your finger inorder to release a fart is as ancient a practice as when Alexander crossed the Kush.

    OI a fart cannot overwhelm the B/O (smel)l of an afghan, then it is likely a Navy fart and not worthy of further discussion.

  44. This is to AKA. Are you stupid? Do you know anything about them? They crap in the corner of their living space? I’ve been out there you arrogant prick! But non the less I agree they are taking it too far banning it.

  45. When my brother went to Afghanistan, he was warned not to lick his lips when they were chapped. The air in Afghanistan, you see, is an aerosol of dried human crap. Yessir, they just go diddy-bopping along, and when nature calls, they just stop, right where they are and drop a deuce. It dries up in the heat, turns into dust, and carries all the germs and viruses with it.

    My brother’s name for the air in Afghanistan is “shog.” You know, like smoke + fog = “smog.”

  46. Are you fucking serious? These little pieces of shit should be sucking them out of our asses for us. Makes me fucking sick

    that we bow down for these shit bags. Glad I got out when I did. This kind of shit what just starting to brew up in 04 when I got out. Started with the way you held your weapon when walking by the locals. It was war when I was there as a combat rock, and it was still war when I was there with KBR. What a freaking shame! Looks like our Corps is turning into a bunch of cunts up on top…. All about politics and promotions. Treasonous to the Corps if you ask me…

    We might be in “their” back yard, lets not fucking forget the invitation they sent 10yrs ago….dickheads!!!! Grow some balls up their !!!!

  47. Geoff Connell on

    Why not tell them about the offense caused by the custom of

    bacha baz, the man to boy relationship there in Afghanistan, why fight for people like this

  48. Add this one to the list. My 9 y.o. son came up with it.

    Who peeled an egg? As in hardboiled eggs smell like farts. Priceless.

  49. What a joke. I’m so over everyone worrying about everybody else’s feelings. Get over it.

    They definitely wouldn’t of liked that fart I lit in my tent in front of my platoon when I was over there.

  50. Assgassistan!!! This is what happens when you allow everyone besides just real men into the military.

  51. When I am written up for farting, I want to opt for a general court as is my right under the UCMJ. While in open session I want entered into evidence the fart.

    I guess now the navy will have to provide the Marines with our fart sacks.

  52. Really? This is by far the most idiotic thing I’ve heard. I mean they’re gonna suffer some disciplinary consequences because they got scare like shit and farted when a “gentile” taliban blew himself out near their truck? Seriously, is this a joke? If so, what the hell America?

  53. So much for those late night FDC Olympics. I remember Sgt. Sandifer once scored perfect 10’s across the board. Decibel Level = 10, Thickness of Sound = 10, Wetness = 10, Putridness = 10, Flavor on the palate = 10, and the big daddy, timed with the official battlefield command clock, Longevity = 10.

  54. To comment #18 –

    You left a few off the list:

    Shredding the Cheddar

    and one who excels at the art is a “Cheddar Shredder”

  55. Merinas van der Lubbe on

    OK… I’m a civilian with no military experience, so I’m just gonna say it:

    That gang of goat-raping ragheads over there is PRIVILEGED to even be ALLOWED to smell a Marine’s fart.

  56. You might be a mooselimb if you wipe your butt with your bare hands but find farrts offensive.

  57. Don’t forget “fanny burp” in the list of terms. From the upper end, we have “face farts” from people with smelly burps.

  58. Jason Prather on

    I will tell you why, if you promise not to think me racist, or laugh too hard, according to the Hadith, one of their ‘Holy Books’ in the section Sahih Bukhari (1.4.137) writes that Allah will not accept a Muslim’s prayer if he/she passes wind during the ritual. The exception occurs if the worshipper farts silently, or the fart does not smell. I wish I were making this up! If they have gotten so intolerant of our soliders, perhaps they should try to free their own country, and their precisous Allah can do it all himself!

  59. As a member of united states army and someone who served down range in iraq I have a few choice words for that you ungrateful low life parasite sucking leeches then man up and fight your own war kiss my ass

  60. I can not believe what Im reading here today. American soldiers place their lives on the line to protect this third world dirt bags and they want to complain about something a silly as farting? And this is being taken seriously?? Our country is falling apart due to being PC and not “offending” other ppl. I am so sick of how wimpified our millitary has become and our country for that matter. Especially from ppl who whipe their butt with their hands. So why dont we just take this one step further. Instead of using guns in war lets just go around hugging our enemies and tell them how special they are. Maybe if we give them a warm fuzzy feeling they’ll stop killing ppl. Give me a break already..

  61. It is time. As a comment made earlier stated – being PC inherently diminishes our honor and integrity for what we stand for an value. Why are we so focused on what others think and feel – instead of standing up and being proud of who and what we are. I find it incredibly offensive women are treated like rats in their culture. Need I ask is there a moratorium on their behavior we find offensive? Leadership stands firm, anchored against the ‘rain’ and the ‘wind’ and scorching sun – This crap – this PC – is nonsense beyond rational thought.

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  63. First, I am pleasantly surprised that MC Times has such an open forum for comments. Super motivating to see humor, positivity, vulgarity and emotion from all sides being displayed here. That’s one huge change from when the norm in the 80s, 90s and early 2000s when I served. I expect putting it online made it necessary To minimize moderation. Anyway, there are some major points made here in this thread. We definitely need to make sure our attempts at being PC are calculated and understood by our Devil Dogs. Farting or blowing “air biscuits” (my personal favorite from the awesome list above), is natural. Momma taught us all to be discreet. Just because we’re off fighting wars doesn’t mean we should forget that.

    Since when are we the people who react? Just because they wipe their butts with a hand and smear it on the wall doesn’t mean we walk into their homes and rip a big one or talk rank/shrewd BS in front of the ANP who are working with us. Unless, we’re in a firefight, we can set the example. Otherwise, let it rip as necessary.

    To my fellow Marines serving in Afghanistan, keep doing what you’re doing! If you have to fart, do so! You know when to say excuse me. You know when not to give a shit!

    To the officers who felt it necessary to make this an issue, for God’s sake, get out! We’re tired of your PowerPoint presentations full of fabricated statistics aimed at making you all look good. Go to the armory, get your weapon, Fill your canteens, and head out on a patrol with one of your junior officers and his Marines. If your MRE happens to make you gassy, by all means, we give you permission to share your backdoor trumpet! If an Afghani, is nearby, apologize and enjoy his smile!

    For my fellow Marines who are just walking around trying to deal with The boredom, dude, I get it! Just put it to music and post it on YouTube for the rest of us!

    Simper Fidelis!

  64. To>>. A USMC Beirut Vet.. I would like to presonally thank you for the quote about “farts”.. I am STILL laughing! ;-). Thanks for making my day!!

  65. Retired Marine on

    Phrase borrowed from Viet Nam, and modernized:

    “Let me win your farts and minds, or I’ll burn down your down your damned porta-johns!”

  66. Crop-duster (like the flight attendents walking the aisle) ANA is just jealous because they have not formed a solid floater since they were born – spray is all they know. From personal experience, my farts smell much better then someone that has not bathed in a month or two.

  67. I am very glad to know this. I’m a PFC now. (Proud F**king Civilian) and I’m going to go OUT of my way to fart as loudly and longly as I can in the presence of Moooooslims. It couldn’t POSSIBLY offend THEM as much as the actions THEY condoned on 9/11. “F” them and the goat they humped in on.

  68. I am very glad to know this. I’m a PFC now. (Proud F**king Civilian) and I’m going to go OUT of my way to fart as loudly and longly as I can in the presence of Moooooslims. It couldn’t POSSIBLY offend THEM as much as the actions THEY condoned on 9/11 offended ME. “F” them and the goat they humped in on.

  69. roeg Says:

    August 24th, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    Why do you guys care? As long as you’re killing brown people you’ll still be heroes in your trailer parks back home.

    If I’m reading what “roeg” has written… roeg is an idiot, who has him or herself shown themselves as a biggot. In other words your comments are useless, provide nothing of substance and prove that not everyone is evolved or educated.

  70. All kidding aside the nitwit who put this rule on paper should be discharged or better yet sent to MotoPlatoon for 3 months. After running the obstacle course with the buckets for 90 days he/she may remember why this world needs United States Marines. What’s next? You must curtsy before you send a 5.56 ball round 1200 yards into tangos? I entered the Corps in ’74, after Nam the Corps was in a bad way, the worst of it all was the very low grade of officers. A few were outstanding the rest were an embarrasment. It appears all things have not changed in the Corps. Afgani’s need to be concerned about offending Marines and not the other way around. ‘Be nice and we will go home, be offensive and we will kill you all.’ Semper Fi Marines and kick this rule making worms ass.

  71. Patriot of Tea Party on

    F— the Afghans and who gives a damn what they think other than Obama who is a damn muslim that lies to the USA.

  72. Ridiculous!! Maybe the Marines should just pack up and leave, and let the Taliban and Al-Quida go back to cutting the limbs and frickin’ heads off of the Afghans! Screw what the Afghan’s thinks!!!!

  73. So, will the Afghans be asked to stop buggering each other and their livestock in our presence?

  74. I’ll be damned Marines will I allow anyone or sheep smelling Afghan tell me, when I can exercise a bodily function.

    Most time it isn’t up to me, The old sphincter has a mind of his own sometimes. Sometimes he lets one loose without even informing me that there is going to be a, “Fire in the Hole.”

    Ya, know something I think the foul little fella does it for spite sometimes. I’ll be walking along minding my own business in the mall or public places, and out one pops going downrange. I try to explain, “Hey it wasn’t me it was him.” But some people just won’t have none it. Like they don’t let one fly once in a while. No one is that pure including those goat smelling Afghans.

    Besides in my culture bustin one off is a compliment to the cook after a good meal. And no one, and I repeat no one is going to infringe on my culture especially when me and the boys are fighting for their freedom. They’ll just have to let it pass won’t they fellas.

  75. This is amazing. Homosexuality/anal sex is rampant among afghans, but we are concerned about this.

  76. Dr Jay Lee (former-Corporal) on

    I trained Saudi security people off and on for 6 years in the 1980’s. ARAMCO gave us an orientation and warn against all this kind of cultural insults. “Don’t touch ’em with your left hand or show ’em the bottom of your feet, etc” First thing I did with my group is put them in head locks and smeared my left hand in their faces. Get their minds right early. (None of them died!) They were the weakest, laziest, dumbest bunch of parasites the Earth has ever seen. Bullet sponges to a man.

  77. Do the Afghans know that the current Democratic administration has decided to let gheys serve openly in the military including the Marines and that once you stretch that orifice open with a butt plug, it passes a ton of gas daily… Just askin.

    And, what pray tell does a DIS-honorable discharge look like nowadays. Just askin.

    Thanks!

  78. Is this new policy a sound only matter? Or does it also apply to the inaudible fragrance of the S.B.D. ?

  79. We save them, fix their scum-bag country and now we have to worry about “farting” up wind from some Poppy farmer. I say every Marine should go on an eating binge of beans and ex-lax and then let them clean that mess up and enjoy that fresh air. If they don’t like that then send a letter to Barrak in the White House it probably smells the same there.

  80. Don’t you mean “banned for some Marines uprange”? If you are going downrange who would know/hear, but if you are upwind from them it might be heard/smelled. But who cares anyway.

  81. Well, seems you folks have the same chicken shit leadership we had in the last few wars. More concerned about PC then winning.

  82. My brother (former Marine) sent this to me (former Coasty) and I thought it was another one of his jokes. When you think about it, this really is. Reading all the comments above, it’s abundantly clear where the majority opinion falls on this issue (joke). #66: Don’t sugar-coat it – just tell us what you think! 😉

    Why would anyone in our gov’t or military waste any time giving serious thought to something so petty? Just guessing – someone in the gov’t probably told the military to ‘take for action’, so Marines are taking the heat for writing it up. While we’re at it, should we also muzzle all our gun barrels with silencers & suppressors to keep the noise down over there?

    Another guess – The locals (all over the mid-east) know how easy it is to send our gov’t into an epileptic fit at the first hint of any cultural offense that might result in unfavorable publicity. So, they just pull our chain routinely and enjoy the floor show that ensues. Then, the rest of us just shake our heads in disbelief at all the juvenile PC stupidity that seems to have no end.

    BTW – Key word in this news clip is “audible” farting. That must mean it’s only the sound that’s offensive. So, SBDs, fuzzettes, etc., whatever, are apparently totally legal! S/P

  83. The real reason for the “farting” ban is because the lib’s are concerned about climate change.

  84. As an old Corpsman I recommend, from a purely medical standpoint, these young Devil Dogs continue to do what Marines have done From the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli. Fart away men and God bless the Corps!!

  85. Yes people, farting is “insulting” to Muslims – not just Afghanis… and if our military did a better job EDUCATING our force about Islam, we would know a lot more… and this comes from a 20 year Religious Program Specialist! I was trained in the world religion but didn’t know as much as I know now since I started reading things from ex Muslims and joined Act for America.org… yes, things like this does make us look weak!

    I say let the farting jihad begin!!! And try to make them really loud too! Eat some broccoli and cabbage!!

    Long live the Infidels!!!

  86. Audible? So, it’s the sound that offends the Afghanis.

    That makes sense. Couldn’t be the smell, because how could they tell?

  87. Rooty toot toot! Rooty toot toot!

    The source of the toot is beans

    eaten by combat marines.

    A thunderous clap, a horrendous toot

    as marines go to war they toot and they shoot.

  88. Dennis (former Marine) on

    A sign of the times we´re…

    children a being suspended for farting in class

    People being kicked of air planes for farting

    and now Marines cautioned about farting

    Itś time to bring all our troops home, from Afghanistan, Iraq, South Korea — bring our troops home. Weŕe going to need them here soon, I believe.

    Semper fi.

  89. Gary Rodriguez on

    i say we let our marines rip off their less-than-trustworthy afghan counterpart’s heads and shit down their necks then fart in their face.

  90. Obama fart Obama fart Michelle fart Barrack fart Michelle fart Obama fart Michelle fart fart fart Barry fart Soetoro fart fart fart lol

  91. Since when did Doped Up Soccer Moms start deciding what Marines should and shouldn’t do on the battlefield?

  92. Fine. Then the Marines should take their guns, their protection, sacrifice AND their farts back home. As a few people have already said, who cares what a bunch of people one notch above cavemen think? I hope a new CIA enhanced-interrogation technique includes pinning them down and farting on their heads.

    http://www.cafepress.com/ConservaTshirts

  93. Really. What about what offends the Marines. I’m sure they get tired of knowing that the ANA and ANP they work with or train rape little boys for fun. I believe that Afghan males says women are for children and boys are for pleasure. Marines hold our Core Values of Honor Courage and Committment to the highest yet we are training these animals who have no honor. Fart away Marines, and if you are charged ask for a court martial and don’t take NJP I don’t see a covenening authority wasting their time trying to punish a Marine for a bodily function that is caused by the food you are required to eat.

  94. Aren’t these the same people who poop in holes in the ground and wipe their butts with their hands? My father spent many years working in the middle east and that was his experience with these people.

  95. The government may be on to something. Better to let it out and bare the shame than keep it in a bare the pain. PC liberal’s had to come up with this one. Afghan’s, kick us out, please.

  96. Old Fleet Sailor on

    Well I’m still “F”ing offended at the Taliban and Al Qaeda for knocking those buildings down 10 years ago… Let them it Pork Rinds.

  97. Tiny Montgomery on

    They should adopt SBD (“Silent But Deadly”) as their call-sign. It sounds menacing if you don’t know what it’s referring to.

  98. LOL! What doesn’t opportunistically offend Muslims?

    For crying out loud!

    Not a single Afghan has ripped one in public?

    Right….

    This PC nonsense has gone off the Richter Scale! Way off!

  99. What dumbass came up with this crap? Well if it’s SBD’s (Silent But Deadly’s) are what they want I hope the people that are over there make ’em CHOKE!!!!

  100. First, they outlaw DIs cussing at recruits in boot camp, and now this?!? Political Correctness is out of control!! Besides, I’d like to see the PC cop try and prevent this. They can’t be everywhere!

  101. Jim in Houston on

    Afghans don’t fart? No wonder they are so miserable and mad all the time. This is beyond stupid, but nothing really surprises me anymore when it comes from this administration.

  102. James T. Lay, Jr. on

    Well, there IS an old saying that Afghans would rather hear a young boy fart than a pretty girl sing. Perhaps, in reality, those good ol’ MRE farts are sending, um, a mixed message? I think, myself, that political correctness and multiculturalism have gone quite far enough. In the immortal words of none other than our own beloved Benjamin Franklin, “Fart Proudly!” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart_Proudly

  103. Send a boatload of special forces marines that trains on nothing else but oats and red cabbage, then when somebody yells out “halt! Friend or Foe, respond appropriately.” That way you will for sure know the good guys from the bad guys.

  104. Farting is just a form of cultural diversity. The solution is mandatory diversity training for the Afghans.

  105. A new spin on an old tomb…”The Fart of War” (Carl von Clauswitz…”The Art of War”). Looks like an overzealous, dyslexic staff officer interpreted “War is the continuation of politics by other means.” to mean “Farts are the continuation of war by other means.” No doubt, graduated at the top of his class…on the fast track now. Where do we find such men?

  106. It’s a good thing that I’m not in Afghanistan since I fart all the time. I even can mimic the Iranian national anthem without soiling my shorts! To hell with these heathens! If if can’t fart, then you’re not worth risking my life for you! Damn savages! My name is Crappo Marx and I approve this message.

  107. I am so glad I got out after nine years! Those barbarians can go straight to hell. Disgusting filthy human beings living in the stone age. Since we the USA won’t get out you warriors have to. Come join the battle on the streets as a cop. You can save and help quality human beings and throw the rest in jail.

  108. wait, don’t they consider burping after a meal to be a compliment to the host?…..if that is true, then a fart means the meal has managed to make it that much further down the path to eventual exiting out the other end

  109. in our research so we know who we are fighting, we found out the (pedophile psychotic crimelord who invented islam) mohammed banned farting at their prayers where they are groveling and their rear ends are all up in the air. and it is specifically in the koran it is against the koran to LAUGH if someone farts in that postion too. like adolph and obama, mohammed had a long list of what he wanted people to do, eat, and think.

  110. Only a few years ago, a Marine lance corporal assigned to the Pentagon got a dishonorable by summary court martial after a 3rd warning about flatulence on duty. His defense of involuntary gastric disturbance didn’t matter. But that man’s life is ruined as a result.

  111. Life’s path took me away from military service. Had I known then what I know now, I would have applied out of high school. But, the kind of banal simplicity evident from a no-fart policy is amazing. They want marines to not fart around mercenaries who mutilate their baby girls (cliterectomies), treat women as inhuman chattel, and embrace a religion of violence and child molestation (marrying an 8-year old girl is not right). My two possible life forks have just joined up, because were I in the services, I would have just left and become the civilian I am now. I still love my country, but feel okay about that statement because the bad guys, who will eventually come to our shores, will go after the population centers first — the liberal bastions on the east and west coasts. The idiots who come up with no-fart policies will hopefully have a first-hand chance to not fart in the presence of the fart-fearful attackers. After those who sit and think up no-fart policies are gone, then it’s time to kick some butt. And fart.

  112. You’ve got to be F-in kidding me. People that wipe their asses with their bare hand are offended by a fart?

    I’m offended by their beliefs, the way they treat their women, the fact that they think they are superior (laugh), not to mention that they wipe their asses with their bare hand.

    Geez.

  113. don’t forget, right there in koran rules, mohammed also declared you cannot use less than 3 stones to wipe your rear with.

  114. Bayou boy gto on

    God please let Jon Stewart amd Colbert pick this item up amd run with it.

    Please God let someone as the President s Spokes Model about this…….no let them ask Joe Biden. Marines please rip one for me.

    God Bless all of you. Thank you so much for your unimaginable sacrifice and service fo your fellow Marines. Let er rippppppp

  115. urp the burp and bear the shame

    but squelch the belch and die of pain

    my US veteran husband’s renowned cardiologist told him it was OKAY to fart, period.

  116. As a retired Army Officer, I say fart away. Damn the PC BS this Military is being forced to endure. Damn the libs to hell…

  117. 1st good thing about gays in the military, their farts are not as loud! lol it’s a joke, lighten up 🙂

  118. Seriously, are you freaking kidding me? They wipe their backsides with their hands, stone their women and call it an “Honor Killing” and long after we leave, they’ll destroy everything that the American people paid for and the Marines are being told not to fart in their presence? As a retired Marine, I find that to be a complete slap in the face to all those in country that can’t speak out about the absurdity of that edict. Had to come from some Army or Navy Puke!!

  119. American military passing gas is an insult to Afghans, but Afghan military $&!&&!*% in their pants and having little to NO personal hygiene is acceptable? What a bunch of troglodytes. They never will drag that nation out of the fifth world crap hole it has been for the last four centuries.

  120. This is retarded! Their has to be more to the story. Something like the sound could set off a bomb or something. But not to offend some of the most offensive people in the world! Screw them a$$holes! Let’em rip boys! You’re saying their butts from harms way.

  121. Lemme get this straight….these Mecca-facing, pedophile-worshiping, 6th century living, diaper-on-the-head-wearing, mostly toothless, pit-sweat and ass-crack-smelling, AMERICAN HATING SOB’s are offended by farting? I’m going to start a new non profit organization: Methane For Marines. We’ll send care packages with taco and burrito fixins!

  122. Let’s make a deal. The US Marines stop passing gas when the Afghans stop poking their little Dancing Boys?

  123. My son was in Iraq, could have been killed countless times, didn’t drink to adhere to Muslim outward sensibilities. But have to ignore “man love” Thursday’s, a purely homosexual hangup, but then it’s off to ask for forgiveness, every week. We are sacrificing our children and our money to help them….it sounds very ungrateful to me.

  124. Interesting. It’s OK for Afghan men to fuck little boys in the ass … but farting is terribly offensive. I wonder how those little boys keep from farting when the Afghan men are fucking them in the ass.

  125. R. D'Andrea (SGT 77-81) on

    I dont know what to say!

    You can get your ass blown off for them but you can’t FART in front of them.

    WTF

  126. The anal retentive politically correct are now literally making demands for anal retentive Marines… that’s definately not why the Unites States has the Marine Corps.

  127. SOMEONE HAS TO BE KIDDING ME. WHAT IS A MARINE TO DO IF A LITTLE GAS MUST BE RELEASED? I SUPPOSE THE MILITARY CONTRACTORS WILL BE ALL OVER THIS ONE. SPECIAL ANAL SUPPRESSORS NO DOUBT. SHOULD BE WORTH A FEW EXTRA MIL.

    BY THE WAY I HEARD THAT THE (OTHER SIDE) HAS A NEW WEAPON. IT IS THE FART BOMB. ACTIVATED BY THE DISTINCT FLAP OF ANAL MUSCLES AND GUIDED BY THE ENSUING METHANE GAS.

    SO MAYBE USE CAUTION. MAYBE LET GO UP WIND AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

    GOOD LUCK FELLOWS.

  128. One comment mentioned, “Only a few years ago, a Marine lance corporal assigned to the Pentagon got a dishonorable by summary court martial after a 3rd warning about flatulence on duty. His defense of involuntary gastric disturbance didn’t matter. But that man’s life is ruined as a result.”

    I disagree … the military brass only helped one of our heroes relieve his release. Very much to their and the Afghan’s relief. However, I’m not certain that the President’s aim was to leave our relief issues … uhm … behind. That would take intestinal fortitude, and, well, it’s been rumored that to properly carry a couple of brass … (ahems) … then one must keep an aura of malodorous air within one’s premises. Trigger mechanisms not withstanding, as my sphincter muscle knows full well that it controls all bodily functions. Including the brain.

  129. What a shame. I look at the Corp as the last bastion of hope from being overwhelmed by political correctness. Us in the Army are suffering. I pray the Corp can hold what they got.

  130. Thanks for the heads up. I guess my next care package will include beanie weinies and amino supplements. Maybe even find some good kim-chee…sheesh, not much smells worse than kim-chee, beanie weinie and amino farts (except for balut farts, but It’s a hard challenge to get anyone to eat balut in anything but a survival situation)

  131. Attention on Deck! Burping out loud will now replace the breaking of ass. It is better to burp and taste it than fart and waste it! Carry ON

  132. Congrats! You made it to Drudge Report! Funny stuff. I truly enjoy when cultures collide (as long as people have a sense of humor about it). Americans have (of course) no taboos.

  133. That…. that’s insane.

    What about boy-raping. Will they stop doing that if our Marines agree not to fart?

  134. Sgt. Need to Fart on

    Marines farting = no

    Afghan men sexually abusing pre-pubescent boys = A-OK!

    Got it. I am officially moving to Mars where things will hopefully make sense.

  135. ” Semper Fart ”

    or ” Mutum Gasorundum ”

    or ” Exitus Fi ” !

    or ” Mutus Fidelus ” !

    plus — The Fumes ! The Proud ! Tough Marines !

    We Love You & Thank You !

    God Bless, Protect, Heal, & Comfort bobandediths@ Marines & Their Families.

    RWS

    Bob Stamper

    1010 McClain Drive

    Lexington, KY 40505-3422

    bobandediths@insightbb.com

  136. Master of Sergeants on

    Wow….and here I was thinking that the Army was the only branch afflicted with nutless apple polishers for senior leaders. Gunny Highway would tell the brass they squat to pee.

  137. Former Vietnam Combat Marine! Go ahead and FART Marine! Least they’ll do is send you back to the WORLD where you can rip em off like any good red blooded American!

    Semper Fi,

    Always a Marine,

    Cpl Joe

    USMC

  138. Even from this former (wantabe Marine) who lost honor in boot camp and was discharged early (after finding his honor) this is a load of donkey dung… and the population of Afghanashit should be well familiar with that. I had to join the Army to regain my honor because the Marines said no.

    Marines think farting is fun, we still laugh at it, think its funny. With such limited entertainment in theater I say, let em rip. Enough with not offending goat pluckers and heroin farmers, living in the 7th century. They offend me. Grow up, grow a pair, and tell them that if this offends them they will REALLY be offended when we start the carpet bombing… which we should have done on 9-12. Pull our MEN back home. OBL was snuffed. Let em dirtballs deal with whatever 7th century lifestyle they want to support or defend against, they will kill us in an instant anyways. We are not winning hearts and minds, were are losing sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, not to mention the treasure of our nation. We are done in Afghanashit… Mission Accomplished. Well done Marines. Lets bring em home alive and let the dogs feed on themselves. Semper Fidelis.

  139. Do they still wipe their butts with their left hand over there?

    I’d rather fart than get butt hand.

  140. Daniel Gallington on

    and this from a culture where many folks eat with one hand and “wipe” with the other? get serious….

  141. Are the serious?

    During my time in the service, farting as loudly and poisonously as possible was looked on with high esteem.

    Now, we have to actually restrain a natural part of our biology because of the hyper-sensitivity of some people in a turd of a country?

    Good grief!

  142. Holy Crap! Someone, who probably never served, has WAY TOO much time on thier hands. I’ve been in some of those villages and shanty towns. Some of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen.

  143. Glenn Lauderdale (Retired) on

    Now, hold on everyone, states “noisy” farts are not aloud so, in conjuction with the new rules allowing gays in the military, this just goes hand-in-hand with that new rule. With gays in the military, you will never have a noisy fart again! Just the higher-ups trying to get their troops in line with new policy 🙂

  144. All this time I thought Arabs were appreciative of a good fart. I heard that belching was an accepted way of showing your appreciation for a good meal in that part of the world. I just assumed the two went together, but I guess I was wrong. And don’t bug me about how Afghans are not Arab. I know they’re not Arab. I’m just playing it a little loose and getting rid of some excess gas!

  145. I gotta a bright shinny nickle for every Marine tat farts in front of an afghan boy raper. A WHOLE nickle a piece. Thanks for your service Marine. Come home safe. God Bless you.

  146. Farting is “proscribed” in Islam by Mohammed. So are a million and one silly things, like sleeping with your ankles crossed et al. This is pretty funny. Our fighting men and women are prohibited from farting in front of illiterate, barbaric allies?

    Funny!

  147. Yeah right Afghan troops, 80 % of all male in country are gay. there entire society is based on homosexual relationships.they look at females only as a breeding pond. Woman are for children boys are for laying with.

  148. White Litening on

    You have got to be kidding me! I am a female and the only time I object to farting is when I’m stuck in the car with the offender… or when I’m in line at a cashier & the offender lets it rip and then turns to look at me like I did it… it is a natural bodily function some people do it more often than others and some foods cause it more than others. The Military Higher-ups need to get a grip and focus on more important matters, like allowing our fighting men & women to get rid of the bad guys anyway possible so they can come home! It’s a WAR for Heaven sake, not a popularity contest. HMMMMM with enough farts maybe the bad guys will be so offended with will just pack up & go home – FART AWAY BOYS & GIRLS!!!

  149. Another expample of why we are still there after all these years. Our civilian and military leaders are are gutless and spineless. Our forefathers would be ashamed-again!

  150. That’s a joke, right? Screw ’em. Fart all you want, collectively piss on them and walk away. Why are we wasting blood and treasure trying to drag these 7th Century barbarians into the present? From this ex-Navy blue-water sailor to the Marines: Semper Fi!

  151. This has got to be a joke! I cannot believe that MEN have actually come to this! Talk about the male role model going to hell! Come on Brass, isn’t there something more important for you to do than dream up shit like this!!

  152. Fartin YourFace on

    This is the kind of Garbage you get when you get a bunch of sheltered college frat turds running ‘unable to Think tanks’ composed of politician’s bankers and senior officer’s kids MAKING 250,000 A YEAR AT THE PENTAGON and spoilt self centered compensation whores in the HOMO officers CORPS.

  153. I just ordered and shipped 20 cases of pork and beans to the marines in Afghanistupid. Why does the brass care if we offend the Afghans, just one more reason I’m glad to say I spent my career as an enlisted man. The Officer corp has turned into a bunch of PC dimwits. Fart away, fart away, fart away all!!!!

  154. So the Muslim (christian speech) Nazis that control the worlds gas supply now control man made gas also. Get us out and let them fight their own enemy’s.

  155. I’m more concerned with the genocide being conducted by the Marines at the direction of international banks. Wake up Jar heads.

  156. From the time that Benjamin Franklin wrote “Fart Proudly”, flatulence has been as much a part of our American culture as Mom and apple pie.

    The first Marine he bought the bean, par le vous.

    The second Marine, he baked the bean, par le vous

    The third Marine he ate the bean, and farted all over the Submarine

    Inky dinky parle vous…

  157. A new definition will be entered into Webster’s for FUBAR. Or are Devildog’s still allowed to read? No dictionaries please. Folks might get sum edumication.

  158. Air Force Rit on

    I have the greatest respect for Marines who often draw the worst assignments…such as street weeping Fallujah.

    But honestly Marines, you should know better than to act like that in a cultural center of manners and hygene like Afghanistan.

  159. Just when I thought the clowns at the Pentagon had already reached an all time low, they come through again. Good work boys, I wonder how many Colonels had to approve that message before it was sent out. Those of you who bitch about cutting the military budget go O-5/E-7 and above at the Pentagon. I’m sure we could slice a few dollars from the budget and give a few Lance Corporals some time in a leadership position.

  160. Farting is rude even in the US….yeah its a rite of passage among guys, but if you are in a setting where there are people you don’t know around you, then you shouldn’t be farting anyway. It’s common courtesy. You don’t rip one off at work or at the grocery store or other public places because it is rude. But admist your fellow devil dogs, who gives a rats a$$

  161. Folks, this is freaking ridiculous. I’m tired of our men and women over there fighting against a bunch of terrorists while we give them millions of dollars to buy weapons to kill our men and women. I’m tired of them extending the mission over there it’s now until 2024 last I heard. Finally I’m tired of them tying our men and women’s hands… now they’ve shoved a cork up their butts. I am so sick of the way things are headed for our country.

  162. Air Force Rit on

    If it is a silent delivery, who determines who the offender is?…and how does he/she do it?

    I’d like to know so we can create an enforcement regulation.

    UCMJ – Un Controlled Methane Jet

  163. you got to remember that the flippin afgans have been boosting each other in the butt from childhood on up. So a fart is alien to them because their sphincters havent been airtight since childhood. It’s all really just a matter of jealousy on their part. ” Wah, its not fair! those U.S. marines have airtight ass holes !”

  164. My father was one of the 1st Marine Div. warriors on Guadelcanal. He had is own list of names: the poop-dee-do, dud, fizzle, razzamataz…and the ‘tare-ass’! Cut when you have’em…you’ve earned that right!!

  165. If politicians decide to send America to war, they need to define the ultimate mission. The Corp’s mission is to kill people and break things, we are not intended nor equipped (who could be?) to change cultures or minds. Define the mission narrowly, carry it out and get out.

  166. This is insane! To heck with offending them, we should eat more fiber and fart until they keel over! Better yet lets pump bacon grease into their mosques, use their korans for toilet paper and force their women to wear speedos! At gunpoint if need be!

  167. Laura Avromov Bowman on

    Okay you guys, listen up. There is this medicine called simethicone. Get your commanding officers to issue this for you. It stops farts before they start. I know, we are having financial troubles here in the U.S., but if we are to go there and not offend (UGH) we need simethicone for our boys.

    Secondly, I know your moms taught you well. Would you go to the middle of he grocery store and fart? My kids were taught not to. I hope that when they are deployed they remember that it isn’t polite to fart loudly in public. On the other hand, some of my kids get nauseated if they can’t let one fly when needed. Honestly, I don’t know how this rule will work out for them. My guess is that it will cause some physical pain. Gas pains can be severe and can distract someone at the wrong time. This may just well be a rather serious issue.

    I hope that I can send simethicone in the mail. My kids are going to need it. I’ll send extra for all of you. Gosh, good luck everyone, and thank you so much for your sacrifice to this country. Come home to us ASAP!

  168. Air Force Rit on

    You have to look at this from the bureaocrats point of view.

    You can’t put your head up there with so much pressurized gas coming out.

  169. Shane and Phil were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in Melbourne, Australia. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

    Phil said, ‘Man, I wish we had something to drink!’

    Shane says, ‘Me too. Y’know, I’ve heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?’

    So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.

    The next morning Phil wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

    Then the phone rings. It’s Shane. Shane says, Hey, how do you feel this morning?’

    Phil says, ‘I feel great. How about you?’

    Shane says, ‘I feel great, too. You don’t have a hangover?’

    Phil says, ‘No, that jet fuel is brilliant stuff — no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often.’

    ‘Yeah, well there’s just one thing.’

    ‘What’s that?’

    ‘Have you farted yet?’

    ‘No.’

    ‘Well, DON’T – ’cause I’m in New Zealand.’

    received from an email friend — RWS

  170. I find a culture where men have sex with little boys and dresses their women like ninjas offensive.So if our boys passing gas offends,perhaps it’s time we pass on Afganistan.

  171. Whit Whitfield on

    The people who make such rules need to be fed MRE’s for about 6 months and made to attend Obamas many, many news conferences. What a stupid move ! In MY Marine Corps we fought wars to win not to be “nicie, nice to the local idiots.

  172. Investigations on

    Seventy years ago in a hut occupied by Royal Marines recently recruited from some of the best schools in England the nocturnal and sometimes painful sport of “fartlighting” helped to enliven the conversation after “lights out!” Depending on the day’s rations and the condition of the bowel flames of many colours and intensity can be produced. Not even an Afghan could have complained about that for entertainment!!

  173. Thank God that most of the normal people here know considerably more than any of our government controllers.

    What a sorry race we are turning into in the brave new world of political correctness.

  174. Duncan Burnet on

    Just when I thought I’d heard it all, I read this story. Please Lord remove Obama now. We are not going to last much longer.

  175. R.U. Sportanwood on

    Why do farts smell?

    For the benefit of the deaf.

    Hey Achmed…..pull my finger.

  176. For the Love of God,WASHINGTON, DC, !!!!LEAVE OUR MARINES ALONE, YOU ARE RUINING THE CORPS AS IT IS.. THEY ARE AMERICAS’ GUARDIANS..THANKFUL YOU NEED TO BE THAT THEY DO FART THEY SHOULDN’T EVEN BE THERE!!–I AM A GRANDMOTHER RAISED IN A DIFFERENT DAY, BUT I AM TELLING YOU, YOU LAZY BUMS IN WASHINGTON… LEAVE OUR BOYS ALONE!! OR ELSE, I WILL GRAB MY OLD THREE-TINED PITCHFORK AND JAB YOUR BUTT!!!

  177. I would not waste a fart in the wind when a fart to the face inches away is much better for those afghani soldiers during the day and marine snipers at night

  178. m.r. capobianco on

    It’s not ok to fart as we are the guest in a country that is working both sides of the fence to kill American troops. But it is ok for the “locals” to stone women, behead innocents and in general act as barbarians. Great policy by politicians who should spend some time in combat. Here is a thought. The next time American Military are sent to another hell-hole, the sons and daughter of all three branches of govenment should be the first to step aboard the first transport in Harms Way. Amen.

  179. Waste all muslims, rape and sodomize their women, bulldoze and shit on their moskes, fuck them

  180. Chesty just rolled over in his grave.

    Screw this bullshit PC crap; it has gone too far. The REMF carry on, but worse than ever.

    Farting is the body (naturally) ridding itself of gas. The body cannot reabsorb the gas. If the gas is not released and becomes trapped in the colon, you can experience severe pain and cramping.

    How do you present the prosecutorial argument in a court martial?

    Our military members now face prison if in the heat of battle they make a mistake. Now they face being court martial of they fart. The draft will eventually have to be reinstated because soon no one will volunteer.

  181. Keith #229

    Nothing like getting “set-up” in a grocery store isle by a “professional”…Father would tear one off…say “euuuuu”

    and point his finger at me. Then ask me if I wanted a dollar…he said it was in his wallet. I’d circle around ‘back’ to retrieve the wallet…and BAMMM! Got me again! Those were the good-ole-days!!

  182. matt in columbus on

    Have those desk-Jockeys in the Pentagon do what these combat Marines do without dropping a load in the back of their pants. Then talk to them about no farting.

  183. LOL! Now that’s funny! I’m I on The Onion website? As an officer (rank withheld), how is one to enforce that? “Corporal Smith! Time out, NOW!”

  184. In a land where the donkeys smell better than the people our Marines can not fart because it offends these stone age people? Sorry, but I think this is pure BS.

  185. These poor men need to learn to fart in sync. Using their farts to play the Marine Corps Hymn.

    Fart away men. It is unsafe to hold it in.

  186. Treating women like second class citizens and supporting hatred and sometimes violence against homosexuals or non-Muslims are chic but farts are barbaric and offensive.

  187. Come on man, that’s flat out cruel. They gotta at least make an exception for beer farts.

    Anyone know how the brass classifies blue devils?

  188. Among the other predelections of this highly advanced culture, don’t forget their preference for pederasty. Maybe they hold a special reverendce for the fundamental orifice. ELK (USNA ’68)

  189. Investigations on

    And I would add that retention of gas in the bowel has been known to be fatal – there was an instance recorded in the French Royal Court in the 18th century! Another farting fatality occurred in the Battle of Hastings when Wiliam’s court jester and farteur came too close to King Harold’s bodyguards and was hacked to pieces! Don’t teach the wogs about “fartlighting” they’ll burn down the camp!

  190. First off, I want to Thank All Marines who are putting your lives on the line

    for America, you deserve more than our flatulating politicians. Again Thank You All.

    I hope you guys/girls eat pork rinds to enhance the aroma of a good working digestve track. Al Gore is measuring the density of the footprint,

    so ingest undercooked ‘eggs’ and sauted onions. That combo wafts up his nostrills and he forgets what he’s doing. Here’s an idea, fart into a jar, in a course of the day.line the top inside with sandpaper. Tape a match inside the lid place jar in vencinty of ‘enemy’, sit back and wait for the festivities.

    I just noticed that the word enemy stems from the same mother word as enema, which means ‘to cleanse an oriface of offense’

  191. If farting is defined as a loud fowl gaseous emination emited by a human….then this new order contridicts itself.

  192. Master Sergeant Malone on

    Give me a freekin’ break. So much for leadership. I can handle PC in the Pentagon, that’s bad enough. But on the battlefield? Yo you higher ups with all that fruit salad on your chest…grow some balls and back your troops….screw PC. Yo troops, fart ’til the cows come home!!!!!!!

  193. Well lets get real here, I imagine that blatantly ripping a blue ribbon winner and calling attention to it… However as one writer commented some one learned that any outrageous complaint made in the name of cultural insensitivity becomes SOP. Take for example the widely reported story where the radicals are told to claim abuse to make the US look bad. Perhaps a variation on a theme?

  194. Let me get this straight….in a culture where pedophilia is common, these people are offended by flatulence?

    Nuke the site from orbit.

  195. HA! Go back to C-Rats. They could really produce methane and bring on a real symphony of flatulence, especially the Ham and Lima Beans.

  196. Ok, I ain’ Einstein , but if I told about 200,000 19yr old men to not fart, I would expect the mother of all fartstorms to be headed my way. Big farts, little farts, sweet farts, stinky farts, chicken farts, elephant farts, nervous farts, on my green eggs and ham….this would compare to the “shock & awe” campaign against Irac. I would caution… “be afraid…be very afraid.

  197. Cpl Schmukatelli on

    Those homos constantly hit on us, eye f#ck us, smell like $hit, assault my nose with their filthy poop corners, and at any moment could turn their gun on me or my buddy and I’m supposed to give a $hit about farting because it might “offend” them?

    with all due respect, seriously… f#ck off.

    $hit like this makes me glad to be 4 and out.

  198. All Power To You Gallant Marines. Boy Wonder Obama and his Select Few having nothing better to do than make things even harder for you. Hang In There.

    C. A. Stubbs – Texas Tax Watchdog

  199. It’s not about Afghan soldiers…it’s about etiquette with tribal elders. Often, to build a shallow and false sense of camaraderie, some soldier will fart, nudge some Afghan elder, and be like, “Huh, huh, we’re bonding now, right?” “We’re doing man stuff, right? We have so much in common. Now we can be friends and defeat the Taliban, ok?” *Insincere smile*

    It’s inappropriate and stupid. The discharge of bodily material has negative connotations in every culture–it is something human. No normal person wants to be exposed to someone else’s bodily processes–there is an evolutionary reason for that I suppose.

    Afghans, like most Muslims, have a unique sense of manhood/family relations/social relations/bodily inviolability/ etc. which makes honor, and control of one’s functions and emotions, of peak importance in the presence of others.

    Farting is also something which legally voids a Muslim’s ritual purity for prayer. Thus, necessitating washing their bodies again in a ritual fashion before praying. Overall, the action does not engender positive connotations. To them, this serves to show that Americans are completely devoid of any sense of honor, shame, or knowledge of right living.

    Therefore, that is why it has been discouraged.

  200. Hmmm. We need to make constructive use of this intel. Face squats over interns at Gitmo? Beanie-Wienie’s for everyone around, seconds if you want ’em? Patton would weep at today’s military.

  201. Retired, laughing at stupid crap on

    So let me get this right….in the Marines you can now have sex with your buddy and this is OK. But if you fart in front of him, it is offensive?

  202. That stupid general would make an excellent politician! Send him home and shove up the whitehouse!

  203. Tatiana Covington on

    So it offends the locals… So f’g what! Fire them off loud and proud!

    Semper Fart!

  204. You have to be sensitive, not hurt others “feelings” and definitely not offend anyone. This is caused by one thing only, the feminization of America. And the more feminized this nation becomes the less free will will be. But we will “feel” safer.

  205. Bingo Bob Rupe on

    none ya’s comment is right on. Offending these 12 century animals with a fart, we need to get real ‘leaders’ who can win this instead of worrying about fart offenses.

  206. “Afghans, like most Muslims, have a unique sense of manhood/family relations/social relations/bodily inviolability/ etc. which makes honor, and control of one’s functions and emotions, of peak importance in the presence of others.”

    You know, I can see it being COMMON SENSE not to let one rip while you are “bonding” with “tribal leaders”, but otherwise the rest of the above is COMPLETE BS.

    “unique sense of manhood/family relations/social relations/bodily inviolability” = BEHEADINGS, raping boys and girls, clitorectomies, acid in the eyes, honor killings, burning POWS.

    SCREW the afghan “sensibilities”.

    PS – Where the hell is the AF in all this: time for some serious carpet bombing, and then lets get the hell out of there with a win.

  207. I’m a civi in Seattle and I am apparently more proud of our military men and woman than than the desky’s who allowed they’re balls to be busted. Come on, brass! Stand up and use your spines, at LEAST in front of the men and woman who fight to their death, every day, in order to protect your ability to give orders in the first place. Man up!

  208. Whoever came up with this one needs to be duct taped to the floor and have Marines one by one bomb them on the nose with sulfuric farts of revenge! This is probably all Nancy Pelosi’s idea.

  209. i was once told by a old Marine it is better to fart and bear the same then not fart and beaar the pain. as for roeg what the hell are you some raghead or wellfair bitch that is what you sound like i am sure that you have never served your country

  210. james krehbiel on

    What a bunch of bullcrap. Anyway its all based in what people have been taught (brainwashed). Bascially its called relativism, that one system is just as relavent as any other, that a stinking despot is equal to our system of goverment. Thats why someone like Jimmy Carter goes over and sings the praises of Castro.

  211. A doctor once told me that holding it in can cause cancer. So I will FART where ever and when ever I want. If some jack-wagon officer tries to NJP/Art. 15 a Marine over a FART, I will get his and my Senators and Congressmen involved as his Chain Of Command needs more important work.

  212. Wow! I hate to see the PC crap penetrate the Corps. (I’m USMC, 1965-1973, Viet Nam 1966-68). We had stupid rules of engagement where we had to hold back and get permission to counter fire into a ville where we took fire from, but this is beyond ridiculous! By the way, Marines and Servicemen, remember this when you go to the polls or file absentee: When Obama wanted to increase the debt limit, among the targets for cutting the budget was you, and every other honest, hardworking group. Never were any of Government’s no-work, sponger, votebuyer,

    union and layabout groups who sell their votes to him. Oh yeah, and add crony capitalist folks like GE and Buffet, et.al.

  213. So the troops can’t fart but these people can beat their wives, do acid attacks on women, and refrain from the use of soap? If Islam is a religion of honor what’s up with the violence on women, children, and people who don’t believe their silly religion?

  214. Tatiana Covington on

    So I did some research, and guess what, it’s literally true. Here’s the citation about how Allah is so put off by farting that he won’t hear your prayer if you fart:

    http://www.sahih-bukhari.com/Pages/Bukhari_1_04.php

    Volume 1, Book 4, Number 137 :

    Narrated by Abu Huraira

    Allah’s Apostle said, “The prayer of a person who does ,Hadath (passes, urine, stool or wind) is not accepted till he performs (repeats) the ablution.” A person from Hadaramout asked Abu Huraira, “What is ‘Hadath’?” Abu Huraira replied, ” ‘Hadath’ means the passing of wind from the anus.”

    Of course, Allah won’t hear you anyway. Why not? He doesn’t exist!

  215. Eric Gebhardt on

    For arabs, belching after a meal is a compliment to the chef, and a fart is understood in all cultures, especially Afghan culture where it is regarded as a commentary on the ravishing beauty of the afghan women in burqas.

  216. I have never served in our military so I can not speak from experience. However I am human and humans do fart, even the afghans.

    Our troops are risking and losing their lives daily to protect theses people and they are offended by a fart??

    I wonder if they would really prefer smelling or hearing a good ol’ fart or smelling thire burned flesh after an RPG has lit their ass up??

    In my uneducated opinion, this is B.S. and needs to be ignored by our troops.

    Let the afghans established a “No Fart Zone” and let them stay in an area totally devoid of US Troops.

    It won’t last long!!!

  217. mike holliday on

    i was in from 1988 to 1995. i was in 3/8 Lima co. we had farting contest after mixing ramen noodles with good old MRE #5 spagetti with meat sauce. oorah! we loved the laughter and the fact that it made morale higher. As simple as that seems, the pansy ass leadership should stop taking a page out of the NY Times. Frickin cupcakes! You people owe me for one jelly doughnut!

  218. Let me get this straight. The Afghans play Buzkashi, which involves dragging the carcass of a dead goat around, fighting over it, trying to get it past a goal or something.

    But…….they’re bummed-out by farts.

    Do I have it straight so far?

  219. Thomas, St. Petersburg, FL on

    Um, Americans are “offended” by ruthless murder and treating women like objects, but that hasn’t stopped the Afghans from any of that, has it?!

  220. Chesty's Ghost on

    This is what happens why we make a good marine salute a complete fucknutz who dares call himself commander n chief and is a closet raghead. We desperately need better leadership!

  221. No more ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ for the jarheads, thanks to Oblamma. With homos now free to be doin’ their thing in the bunk at night, you know there’s gonna be a lot more farting. It’s just plain physics.

  222. After September 20, some of that passing gas will just make a light “hissing” sound from a lot of Marines and almost all Sailors.

  223. M.C. Mumma III on

    What a crock! It’s well past time to get out of that lousy place

    and let them try to sort out their own mess. If we don’t like the results, Tomahawks and drones can be damned effective and are a hell of a lot cheaper than our current actions!

  224. So if it is rude to fart in public, when is our commander in chief going to be stopped from his public speaking? An the vice idoit?

  225. You would think that NOT killing innocent people would be the top priority but it is your farting that the real issue.

    So next time you kill an innocent civilian make sure to hold your fart , you would not want to offend the kids parents that you just slaughtered.

    Keep fighting for the corporations freedoms!!

    Certaintly losing every freedom America was founded on here in the states.

  226. It’s the same for other services and even for civilian law enforcement agencies. I was on the county S.W.A.T. team for 6 years and whenever we got together the contest was whoever could fart the loudest.

    It’s funny to see a bunch of Type A personality guys get together like that!

  227. There was a Marine from Sparta. Who was a world class musical farter. On she strength of one bean he could toot God Save the Queen and fart Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata!

  228. Another clear example of why our continued participation in the ludicrous monstrosity of a “war” is absurd.

    This makes a mockery of wartime leadership. It is insane.

    Flag grade officers have become deaf mute careerists.

    Bet on it.

  229. Personally, I don’t give a damn what the afgan army objects to; coming from a rag-tag bunch of goat herders who don’t take a bath more than twice a year…who gives a “rip” (pun intended) what they think?

  230. It is time that we told those illiterate morons we are fighting for to get out of our way. then lets get out of there because they do not care. 5000 years and these people are no better off then they were then.

  231. In this thread: A bunch of a—hats who think we should invade and occupy sovereign nations. Then belittle their customs and treat them like dirt because “We”re America dammit. We’re infallible”.

  232. Since the sound of discharging your weapon is louder than expelling gas, maybe the Marines should discharge their weapons at the Afghani’s when they are breaking wind… See which act they find more offensive… and I thought I was put under some inane rules of engagement during my 20 years…

  233. Farting is as American as apple pie. I can remember working midnight shift and hearing someone key up the radio and the unmistakeable sound of that person farting over the radio. It would break everyone up…

  234. so we can shoot ’em, bomb ’em, kill ’em, we just can’t fart near ’em…did they specify position in relation to wind direction?

  235. With the panty waist higher ups that some branches have leading them, I can just see “Fart” police coming down the pike. I guess that it is not politically correct to have a normal body function any more!

  236. Completely absurd. A Marine’s BUTT is now enemy-controlled territory? We don’t even have positive control of each Marine’s ANUS? The jokes write themselves.

    But here’s where it isn’t funny anymore: THIS is a symptom of a loser mentality. If THIS is the kind of thing that prompts a theater-wide General Order, presumably from a flag officer, then the situation has become all but unrecoverable. THIS, apparently, counts as an objective; a goal to be achieved in the pursuit of our strategic ends (no pun intended). And that tells me all I need to know about what progress we are making.

    I’m not impressed.

  237. And another thing: this order should be disregarded by every single warrior in Afghanistan. I want to see ANY commander take this one into a court martial.

  238. I think the person who came up with this entire idea should have a “blanket party” given in their honor! I guess that I just dated myself ( USMC – 1958 – 1962 ) They still hold blanket parties, correct?

  239. From the Halls of Montezuma

    To the Shores of Tripoli;

    FARTING during our country’s battles

    FOWLING air, on land and sea;

    First to FART for right and freedom

    And to keep our BOWELS clean;

    We are proud to claim the title

    of a GASEOUS US Marine.

  240. Slappy Vanderbilt on

    Seriously, could it be any more offensive than air wafting out of the Officer’s club?

  241. Who’s the braniac that decided this? Everyone knows it’s not the audible ones you worry about – guess it’s time the military invests in fart suppressors.

  242. The Marine Corp leadership should be profoundly embarrassed and ashamed of their gross incompetence at leading our mighty fighting machines into these wars.

  243. George Simons on

    What do you mean I can’t fart in Afganistan? I let one rip and everything came out fine.

  244. WTF happened to… “Give us your hearts and minds. Or, we’ll burn your FFF’n village down”?????

  245. Well we weren’t like the Russians back in the ’70s. They just killed them. I said to my russian buddy, what about there women. He said would you want them when they squat in front of u and take a crap. He said they were nasty pigs.

  246. Wait let me get this straight the marines can’t fart because it offends afhganistani’s that wipe their ass with their hands.There’s some irony here.

  247. Jim in Houston on

    For all of you bad mouthing officers, give it a rest. After twenty years as both enlisted and officer, I can tell you military officers DID NOT make this dumb ass decision. It had to be made by of OweBlamer’s idiot czars like Arne Duncan who likes fisting with little boys. This bunch of pukes is beyond disgusting and should be drawn and quartered!

  248. i am a supporter of the marines. i used to be one. but i know for a fact when a marine farts it is often quite stinky. and NO… this is not a post for BEANO… but it’s high time some body said SOMETHING ABOUT STINKY MARINE FARTS. AND THAT’S A FACT.

  249. I’m surprised you don’t have to get permission from the pukes in the pentagon…You can thank the US Congress and the higher ups for destroying the Corps

  250. I have to wonder what the punishment for excessive flatulence? And what exactly is the remedy? Beano before every MRE and Gas-X afterward? Corks and/or butt plugs maybe?

  251. Derka Maberka on

    “Battle Rattle”, indeed.

    So, the Taliban (and the other opium-generating criminal Tusken Raider tribes) can rape and “seek companionship and emotional bonding” with their boys with impunity, but somehow get deeply offended when an infidel floats an air biscuit.

    I’d say they can go to Hell, but that would be redundant.

    There’s a famous Kandahar saying: “Sparrows have to fly over this area with one wing. The other is used to cover it’s behind.”

    And it’s not to silence a gas cloud.

  252. These comments are funny but only if they actually contain the word fart. Fart itself is a funny word. These guys are probably doing it on purpose to piss the Afghanis off. Fart is international language for “I do not approve of you.”

  253. warren canady on

    Wtf? Are you freaking kidding f### them Afghans IT offends them for farting? I mean it is alright to grow poppy’s for HERION in Afgan but it isn’t all right for farting. Screw this don’t start nothing there won’t be nothing and as I see it 9-11. It is time to withdraw our troops and send an open invitation for the TALIBAN.

  254. What? Flatulence insults the dune coons. My god they are the filthiest people on earth.

  255. I think it’s pretty deplorable that some of the people commenting on this thread can’t even fathom the idea of respecting the culture of the people around them. Yes, you’re occupying their country, but that doesn’t give you carte-blanche to act like the “a–hole Americans” we’re reputed to be.

    Are your farts really that goddamn important to you? It’s not like they’re making you celebrate their holidays. They just want a bit of respect too. If you show THEM respect, they show YOU respect, and maybe you wouldn’t have such a heavy insurgency on your hands.

    Christ some of you commenters are short-sighted and selfish.

  256. Jar Head Serving Lead on

    If I was told to hold my farts I would let them rip twice as hard.

    It’s not healthy to hold toxic gasses in your body. I say let em rip, and be comfortable. No more of this politically-correct-BS. Those policies have killed many of our Brothers-In-Arms.

    Semper Fi Fart or Die

  257. Pingback: Farting for Marines banned in Afghanistan; Reactions, Comments « Ameristroika

  258. Appearently someone hasn’t read the same contitution he/she was sworn to supportand defend….

    I think the liberals are allowed to express themselves so fart away brother in arms!

  259. Jar Head Serving Lead on

    If you show THEM respect, they show YOU respect, and maybe you wouldn’t have such a heavy insurgency on your hands.

    _________________________

    Are you all there?

    There is a massive insurgency because there is billions and billions of dollars in the Opium business, we are hurting the organized crime families and the farmers who grow the Opium.

    Most of those Afgans are nasty anyway, this is such a joke.

  260. If it’s good enough for Steve Martin then it’s good enough for any damn US soldier.

    Maybe deskquarters ciould train all the men down wind how to say “Excuuuuuuse me” in Arabic.

    Hey guys, what are you going to do when the Elite Ruling Criminal Class in Washington ask you to disarm Americans? FART? I hope that you will be on the side of the Constitution and the People.

  261. Japan was given 2 parting gifts right before WW 2 was over. Human methane will be the least of their problems. Its time to finish the job before we lose more of our best young men in a never ending war in a S**T hole place far from home.

  262. I will,too!!! I will fart everytime I get close to those rag heads in the store!! You can count on it boys now that I know this story and it’s pure PC.

  263. FMF Doc Jones on

    Withholding the expulsion of intestinal gas can cause excessive pressure in the colon. This pressure can cause diverticulosis by expanding the colon. This can lead to infection and can require surgery to correct especially if a diverticulum gets infected or bursts. It can be life-threatening. Let ’em rip Devil Dawgs. It’s medically indicated. If Hadji is offended., to frickin bad.

  264. In the Army we fire at will and fart at will. If anyone is offended then fight your own war. Freaken pansies.

  265. Pingback: Gas Alert! - Battleland - TIME.com

  266. If we really wanted to be in the culture, then we would be allowed to grow beards, the ultimate sign of manliness in

    the ‘stan. Seriously glad that we don’t have to wipe our butts with our left hands, too…

  267. I call cover-up !

    This coincides with the repeal of DADT.

    A fart is a homo’s mating call.

    Really though, this is like my senior citizen mother. I was punished worse for saying FART than saying F**K.

    Now my granddaughter laughs when I say “bless you” when she farts and has that mischievous laugh when she says it to me. Sometimes I think that the kid has hollow leg, never heard anyone fart THAT long. The kid’s a ripper !

  268. +1 to poster #12. You hit the freakin nail square.

    Give em hell #13. One of those chilli mres should further your cause.

  269. Fighting American on

    The Pentagram, er Pentagon should tell the Afghans that farting is the Marines way of giving Islam the respect it deserves.

  270. You REMF’s Desk jock sh– heads have gone too far, tie our hands, restrict our fight, limit our munitions, force us to work with criminals, accpet your social programming all while risking our lives so you political a– kissing a– and the bozos in washington can get rich, elceted and golf every other f—ing day. F— YOU, I have dealt with those scum bags too long for too much while the washington and pentagon yes men run our country and military into the ground. No more, no f—ing more, go with you boys go deep six another bank or take over another company, but you done got thelast click out of junior

  271. When I was stationed at CCK Taiwan as young lad with one little stripe (1972) our shop always had farting contest daily. All farted from E-9 to down to me. Even our OIC a Captain hiked a leg up to partake in the fun…when he was around. The Captain stated that we must have ate some good food in the chow hall…and that we were complimenting the cooks at the chow hall for a job well done! Ahhh…those were the days when men were men!

  272. I’m a retired vet. Want to thank ALL you men and women for carrying on the fight for liberty and freedom for all. God bless you.

  273. ok, thats fair. lets bomb them back into the stone age where they belong. with iran iraq syria lebanon and the rest. phueck em all

  274. You’ve got to be shi…oops. Don’t want to offend. What has happened to the Corps? Got that PC virus that’s spreading everywhere? Well, at least it’s only “audible” farting that is banned. Let those silent but deadly babies rip, Gentlemen.

  275. I’m a former squid. I served alongside the VMFA-314 Black Knights aboard the USS John C. Stennis. At the beginning of OEF we had black hooded Afghan P.O.W’s kneeling in the hangar bay guarded by S.E.A.L.S. After reading this story I wish every MARINE aboard the ship would have ripped ass in everyone of their faces. The P.C. liberal garbage have taken over the military. WAR is never going to be P.C.

  276. Tatiana Covington on

    Just for this piece of nonsense, I urge all Marines in Afg to fart as often and as loudly as possible in as many mosques as possible.

    Ruin it for them…. out of pure malice.

  277. What the what? Per Kurt Vonnegut…a WWII veteran…and POW…farting and tap dancing are the universal forms of communication that cross all language barriers. Lighten up high command!

  278. UN EFFING BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THE MARINES hadn’t yet given in to cowardice. I guess the cowardly politicians above them feel a need to impose.

  279. C’mon Uncle Sam, they’re saving the heroine for the CIA, the Lithium for Big Pharma, and the oil for Big Oil. The Rothschild Zionist Banking Cartel is getting rich off of selling weapons to both sides and now you want these guys to not even fart. Why don’t you bring them home instead because the real fight for freedom and the American way is against the scum politicians who perpetuate these endless wars to line the pockets of the billionaires running Washington.

  280. Yes, by all means don’t fart around the Afghans. But remember, never ever shake hands with a left-handed Afghani. They eat with their dominant hand, and use the other to, well, Ill keep it clean here and leave it with them not using toilet paper. I really doubt they are insulted by farting.

  281. So, just so I’m clear….our soldiers can’t fart around skanky pedophiles who traumatize little “dancing boys?” Yeah, umm, well I can see how a desert fart down wind may scar them for life. Thank Allah, there are plenty of scared, brutalized, and helpless young “non farting” children to make them feel all better. GTFOH!

  282. This is what happens when the command functions are ASSumed by politicians and english majors rather than combat personnel. If you have to go into combat, then do so and win, no other considerations allowed. Otherwise, stay home and drill.

  283. Only in a feminized military culture would the order go out not to offend the exquiste sensibilities of the local Afghan barbarians, who have blood feuds going back centuries and would shoot a stranger at the drop of a hat. At the end of the day, all that really matters is: Are the Marines the best at killing and destroying things? The culture of tip-toeing around, not wanting to offend anyone’s delicate, fragile psyche is bull—-!

    (I’d type out the curse word, but know that the don’t-offend-anybody software would censor my comment).

  284. Captain Skippy on

    So sad what has become of our leadership. They don’t lead from the front, but from a desk. God bless our Marines!

  285. So far as of right now, I count 392 comments on this. I don’t get it. Maybe the brass need to come out of their holes and see how the world really works. Everybody farts, so what? As far as I can assess from where I am, the Islamic third world has more of it’s share of serious social problems than anywhere else. If the NCO’s, military or not, who really run things in this world have any latitude in Afganistan, maybe they should issue egg salad sandwiches in the heat of day and blow the bastards out with a massive “Green Cloud” which didn’t appear to be mentioned.

  286. What exactly are we doing in Afghanistan the graveyard of empires? Spreading the manure of democracy? Our own democracy is bankrupt and falling apart. Oh that’s right we are fight the Al Qaeda (CIA), wait the Taliban, protecting the opium routes for the Rothschild crime syndicate. Wake up devil dogs – you’ve been had. There is not one Afghan worth dying for – or farting.

  287. I spent seven years (’93-’00) and can’t believe this could be enforced. So the Afgan goes and tells your Gunny you farted?

    Gunny: “This rag head said you farted.”

    You: “It wasn’t me I haven’t farted since I’ve been in country as per orders. He must have wiped his nose with the wrong hand.”

  288. What would General Curtis Lemay think about the Pentagon Today? –

    – LeMay was [an] extremely crude character…. Dino Brugioni in Eyeball to Eyeball wrote of LeMay’s excesses: –

    Meetings of the Joint Chiefs of Staff were alluded to by some as a three-ring circus. General Curtis E. LeMay, Air Force chief of staff, was characterized by one observer as always injecting himself into situations “like a rogue elephant barging out of a forest.” There are many stories of LeMay’s crudeness in dealing with his colleagues on the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He found the meetings dull, tiring, and unproductive. Petulant and often childish when he didn’t get his way, LeMay would light a cigar and blow smoke in the direction of anyone challenging his position. To show utter disgust, he would walk into the private Joint Chiefs of Staff toilet, leave the door open, urinate of break wind loudly, and flush the commode a number of aggravating times. He would then saunter calmly back into the meeting pretending that nothing had happened. When angry with individual staff members, he would resort to sarcasm; if that failed, he would direct his wrath to the entire staff.

    http://curtis-lemay.tripod.com/

  289. Seriously, F**** the afghans and their culture and their world and their everything !

    they need scientology

  290. U.S. leadership has become a bunch of gutless pathetic politically correct sissyboys. It is no damn wonder th world is kicking our butt. I feel sorry for the military and…..why hasn’t there been a coup? Hear aboutr Tyson Food cutting out Labor Day and replacing it with ramadan doing dong holiday for the muslims in Tennessee. I will not evey buy a Tyson product.

    ?

  291. I am an Air Force Vietnam vet. And none of the guys I served with there farted in front of the Zips. You Marines are just savages that’s all. We did however drop burning gasoline on them.

  292. GRANDMA IVORYWIDDOW on

    you made me spew my tea on that one!!! lol but u are correct but u failed to tell them why? ” Mohammed said” that u are not allowed to fart when praying… or your prayers won’t be heard , unless it was a little non smelling one… then in that case it would be ok..lol Heck I thought there was a Superbowl Fart Contest when I was a young Teenager.. but Boys will be Boys! sigh…

    COME HOME SAFE YOUNGINS… WE LOVE U WE SUPPORT U AND WE WANT U HOMEEEEEEEE SAFE…. AND ALIVE… KEEP YOUR EARS TO THE GROUND . AND REMEMBER THIS GRANDMA SAYS KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE. > > >.

  293. gotafartingdaughter on

    My 9 year old daughter can pretty much fart at will. She’s been that way since she was three (she revealed her skill by positioning me on my knees, walking in front of me, turning her backside to me and letting it rip in my face). I guess if she were ever drafted she could obtain an exemption by farting every few minutes.

  294. that is so discusting, I dont understand how grown men can find toilet humor funny, what is society comming to you sound like such an idiot talking in this article what are you a bunch of preeschoolers. It just shows me that the Afghans have some sense of pride and cultural values that they dont go running around like five year olds laughing about potty jokes, what a bunch of idiots you all are I have way more respect for the Afghans because they take pride in their culture unlike the disprespectfull trashy fitlthy potty mouth Americans. YUCK what a horrible article

  295. We definitely need to be outta there! And the only way that will happen is to vote for RON PAUL in 2012 for a “REAL” AMERICAN PRESIDENT!

  296. I was in Mineral, VA on Tuesday and I farted and started the quake. So I apologize for offending everyone from Canada all the way down to Georgia and whoever else felt that because I dealt that. I cannot take responsibility for the afterfarts, sorry, I mean afterSHOCKS.

  297. I fart around Afghans all the time and they usually laugh. They smell horrendous to begin with. Hygiene, along with common sense, totally eludes them.

  298. I grew up as an Army brat. Until I met a couple of Marines I had very little respect for the military. If my 15 year old son goes into the military, I would want him to go into the Marine Corp., but this “farting rule” is frikin ridiculous! What is going on? I think that whoever makes up some of these rules are so far removed from reality, that it is unbelievable! God help us!

  299. Just praying that you guys and gals get to come home real soon and these stupid wars end quickly. Anyone ever figure out why we’re in three wars in the first place? May God keep you safe.

    A civilian grandma who cares. God bless. Jaynne

  300. My advice to the USMC in Afghanistan? Chow down on some Colby cheese, peanuts, hot dogs with sauerkraut, and wash it all down with a 6-pack of Schlitz! THEN, and ONLY THEN an anyone say their offended! LOL

  301. I just farted reading this story! I’m very proud of myself. Seriously, If this kind of BS happened in during WW2, we would be lampshades under Hitler.

  302. So which one of these offended muzzies is going to pull his head out of a goats a$$ long enough to see if a Marine farted?

  303. gotafartingdaughter on

    “…I have way more respect for the Afghans because they take pride in their culture unlike the disprespectfull trashy fitlthy potty mouth Americans.”

    After reconsidering, I think Tim is right. I need to take my cue from the Afghanistan culture. When my daughter farts on purpose should maim her or merely beat the sh*t out of her?

  304. What if you can flatulate in Koranic verse – would that make it more culturally acceptable?

    Serve ’em gas-inducing MRE’s, then tell them they can’t break wind – that’s government work for ya’.

    Maybe we should TEACH the Afghans to toot. It’s really an expression of individual freedom and might do a heck of a lot more to develop a free culture than schools and such.

    “Fart free, or die!”

    Semper Fi

  305. So these Afghan met can have sex with other men(which most do), wipe their ass with their right hand, and not take a bath/shower for weeks or months on end and we’re going to offend them? Gimme a break, I’ve been over there, they aren’t that sensitive.

  306. This past two weeks I attended the funeral of Sgt Allesandro Plutino and SFC keneth Elwell both KIA in Afganistan. Were they here what would they say about this, what would they’re families think of this order and the men who dreamed it up. Men must act like men, and our military leaders must act like men or how on God’s green earth are we ever gonna win. Those people do not know what life and freedom is all about and we who do ought to be allowed to show them. Find something important to do military brass!

  307. whats that smell on

    But its still ok to use a whoopie cushion within hearing distance of an Afghani, right?

  308. I say “LOCK AND LOAD BOYS” I’m personally in favor of the “hand grenade” where you drop one in your hand and then release your grip right in the face of your best buddy.

  309. It seems the half of the active military ensconced in the Pentagram (who make up this stuff), should replace the grunts gettin’ maimed in the field.

  310. Guess watching Blazzing Saddles in afg is out of the question.

    If it insults turban heads, tough.

    Why are we wasting our time in these farting countries.

  311. I would get them while they sleep. yep, sure would. Carpet call or not. This is BS. Glad I served when this kinda “crap” meant nothing.

  312. I’m offended that the middle eastern men prefer to have recreational sex with other men instead of a consenting adult female. So when they stop their sodomy, only then will the Marines even consider stopping farting.

  313. Seems like a fair trade. We give them our blood and their response is to further take our freedoms.

  314. a belch is just a breath of air that commeth from the heart, but should it take a downward path , it comes out a smelly fart……

  315. Sorry you have to put up with MREs and UGRs, SIRS, you’ve done a really good job there for us at home. I’d like to bring you home soon for some real R&R until we really need you. In the meantime, let ’em have it.

  316. I joined the Marine Corp 51 years ago and the old-timers told me I was in the “new corp,” that the “old corps” was much tougher.

    What do you call this corps, when the leadership tells you when and when not to fart? Oh me, what would Sgt Hargrove say?

  317. That sounds like one of those uptown problems, not a down range problem. They crap though a hole in the floor, then wipe with their hand and then care about breaking wind? If they want to live with the Taliban because of a fart then come on home boys!

  318. George Van Tuyl on

    FART Proudly

    The United States ran across this problem during the Revolutionary wars and was addressed by Benjamin Franklin in a letter to the King of France. The subject was of the Farting that Americans did so freely. Benjamin’s letter that indeed Americans Fart and that Americans fart Proudly. I highly suggest we distribute to the US Marine corps Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin in Poor Richards Almanac

  319. Who’s the 90 day blunder morons that dreamed this up? Officers, garbage like this is why the enlisted folks look at you with deep contempt. Think of this; while you’re running around making these ridiculous rules, Hajii is planning our next IED attack. So go ahead and ship me back home for crop dusting. When I’m back in the world having a BBQ with my loved ones, I can tell them that I was sent home because I farted in front of idiots that smell like crap anyway.

    Semper Farting!

    Ooorah!

  320. I think it harmful for the lower intestine to deprive it the opportunity to relieve pressure normally. “Fart proudly” is the title of an essay written by Benjamin Franklin. Therefore. it’s patriotic to fart.

  321. I am a progressive San Franciscan and I agree with all comments above.

    God bless my Soldiers and I say… Down with micro management and up with street smarts. Fart away.

    I am tired of quality American men and women working for the man…

  322. Even in America, public farting is a sign of being a low class idiot. The fact that this is an “issue” for America’s Best is a bit disconcerting.

  323. Blame it on obama. He is destroying everythiing about the military. This is the new military under the little jerk-in-chief that never served anything but himself. Obama continues to spend like a mad man except for the military where the cuts are real and deep.

  324. Stupidity at it’s best. They used to call me ‘blister agent’ was deployed. Don’t feed a soldier a MRE and ask him not to fart. What kind of stupid committee came up with this ‘ban’?

  325. Y’know, this is ludicrous. General, sir, please tell me, an 18-year Sailor, that you are not caving to these guys! Please tell me that the winning of this war, or the safety of our men and women out there, does not depend on bodily functions! If farting is such a big deal, then because of your leadership, and your bowing to these guys, we have already lost. If you think that this (“Hey, Marine, don’t fart!”) is gonna help, hand in your resignation, and stop wasting my tax dollars! Thank you, ’nuff said!

  326. I believe the punishment will be one of three or all depending on the severity of the offender.

    1. Fart tube re-tuned

    2. Fart hole tightened

    3. Fart escape zone covered with elastic banded, carbon laced

    Corp issue carbon fiber Depends

    p.s. Finger pulling has been temporarily outlawed while in country of said deployment

  327. I remember when the Saudi’s wouldn’t permit Christian services for our military who were there to protect them. We had to fly our own people to ships offshore for religious services. Of course none of these people had to be careful of not hurting our feelings. One of the African countries recently made it a crime to let a fart in public. It’s a natural bodily function after all for most of us.

  328. Oh, the horror! To actually expect American servicemen to act like adults. What next, demand that they say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’? What will their mothers say? I fear for the future of the Republic.

  329. Sorry – Farting in general is just f’ing rude. Our society has sunk to such an incredible low. Farting is just another indicator of just how low.

    OTOH – don’t they have a sense of humor? It’s not Ok to fart but it IS ok to have a 13yr old boyfriend. Gimme a break.

  330. Prison farts and marines farts are the same….silent. LOL. Just kidding. Thank you marines for your service. This article is kinda dumb and I really don’t have the need to know. TMI!!!!

  331. Didnt anyone tell the Afghans, an American Fart is a breath of fresh air for a devout muslim…Pray we get rid of that illegal muslim in Washington, if on fire I wouldnt even urinate on him…

  332. Hey…along with a good old American Fart…GIs could lower pants, and possibly have diareah… Would inhance the muslim experience…I understand when a muslim boy becomes a man in Islam, he takes off his diaper, puts it on his head…

  333. This is NOT the Afghani people I knew in the 70’s when every meal was accompanied by a symphony of flatulence, eructation and other noisy bodily functions.

    That’s right! We used to shout “Guns A-blazing!” as we farted, burped, hiccuped and blew our noses after a hand-spooned meal from the communal dish.

    Where do you think Mel Brooks got the idea?

  334. Crap like this makes me glad that an IED ruined my career and got me retired. This is absolutely ridiculous, like when they told us we couldnt eat drink or smoke in front of them during ramadan… Basically that translates to “do all of those things twice as much” in Grunt. Im really sick of higher ups trying to turn the Marine Corps into the Peace Corps. Marines are meant to kill not pamper the enemy. Ah well… Oorah, Semper Fi, Doc Out.

  335. This is an open invitation to all military personnel both active and retired, you are all welcome to my home for a BBQ cookout. I’ll be serving copious amounts of chili, baked beans and pulled pork. There will be a rectal recital immediately following featuring the Afgan National Anthem. Thank you and God bless you all!

  336. It is clearly time to disengage and bring them home. There isn’t going to be a “Democratic State Of Afghanistan”. EVER…

  337. Pingback: I'm 33 1/3 RPM in an iPod world. | Rodney's space

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  339. For an Islamic culture that supposedly hates homosexuality I found it interesting to learn that our uniformed service members are routinely given “cultural awareness” training pre-deployment that informs them that Afghani men enjoy young boys for sexual gratification, while women in the society are prized solely for their ability to bear children. “Boys are for fun, women are for children” is the actual quote.

    Included in the “cultural awareness briefing is a cautionary note that to engage the same behavior as they see in the Afghani culture is still punishable under the UCMJ. Kinda hypocritical, huh?

  340. Make you a deal. We will stop farting if they will stop wiping their arses with their left hand with NO TP!

    It is a two way street brother…

  341. We should bomb that place to the point that not even an evil ghost fart could live there. Then go to bed like nothing happened.

  342. Since the repeal of DADT this is just a backdoor (sorry) liberal way of keeping those new troops from being discriminated against. You can’t compete in a farting contest if all you can do is make a whooosh sound.

  343. how did we ever win WWII….without offending someone. Is “farting” banned for State Department employees i wonder?

  344. Taking time to ask how your behavior and appearance are perceived by others is an important part of being a Marine. Everything a Marine does influences what people think of Marines and USA. You are a representative of USA, and your behavior is part of demonstrating your relationship with the US. Does this mean you will be perfect? No. We all make mistakes and sin. However, it is important to keep striving to walk in Jesus’ footsteps as best we can.

    Matthew 5:16 – “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” (NIV)

    1 Peter 2:12 – “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.” (NIV)

    No Farting.

  345. Pashtun culture is all about appearances, respect and symbolism. In that (limited) sense, it’s similar to military culture. Think about it this way – would you fart on a new CO? And are you really going to jeopardize the mission because you think flatulence is a 1st Amendment right?

    For those of you who think counterinsurgency and cultural awareness are new to the Marine Corps, you should know your history. There have been many attempts to beat insurgencies with blunt force alone – think about the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, or the Iraq war from ’04 to about ’06. On the other hand, Marines have been using culture to our advantage for many decades (read The Village for a good example). This is just another (slightly bizarre) way to adapt and overcome.

  346. “Boys are for fun, women are for children”

    This is what happens when you have no healthcare. oh wait.

    Oklahoma.

  347. I say eat a load of boiled eggs, onions, mre’s, and let ’em rip! Sound the trumpets and gas ’em the way nature intended! Damned be political correctness,

  348. This PC crap is out of control, next thing you know Navy Squids will be told they can not masturbate each other in the showers.

  349. Are you s***ting me? Pun intended. If our troops are not allowed to fart, they will be contending with a different kind of IED. (Intestinal Explosive Disorder)

  350. But it’s okay for for them to ask marines to get ” jigijigi”

    Once again, it is all one way

  351. I swear the Pentagon are nothing but a bunch of idiots and Obama is a little muslim loving bitch. The pentagon is not filled with generals who know how to wage war but a bunch of dick sucking politicians. I felel sorry for my brothers in harms way and those protecting the US. They are making you fight with both legs and arms tied behind you and with your mouths taped shut. Now it seems they want to duct tape your assholes shut to. I say screw the Afgahn dogs they should be thankful that we are they fighting and dying for them and there freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  352. I look forward to a time when the use of our military is restricted to national defense, rather than as a globalist, UN police force – then, when it is deployed of necessity, it be allowed to cut loose with a mighty thunder and strike terror into all who behold it, instead of, say, patrolling a flower garden and holding in farts like a debutante. But we have to work to make that happen – help get out the vote for the right commander – because, in the words of Benjamin Franklin: “He that lives upon HOPE, dies farting.”

  353. Rules are made by the perfumed princes in DC and enforced by the pogue REMF’s.

    I say fart in their general direction.

  354. you can’t see it, you can’t hear it, but you know it’s there. it’s ghost poop !

  355. So: According to Mullen, things going IN butt = GOOD.

    …Things coming OUT of butt = BAD.

  356. Actually this is all part of the CIA’s new clandestine”silent but deadly” stealth weapons program

  357. sounds like a bunch of bull –it to me.but then again,,i like chili,,,so,,,bbbrrrrppp!!!!

  358. Farting-hell I have won every farting contest that there ever was.I can and will fart on comand.Anytime any place I am called to fart I will. A crowded bus is a good place to start and blame it on someone else.This whole story smells to high heaven[no pun intended].

  359. That’s right guys you can shoot them just don’t fart around them. I find this really hard to believe since Afghans are about the the most uneducated people in the world. They routinely have sex with young boys and think it’s ok to beat your wife or daughter. Stupidity breeds contempt.

  360. reminds me of a Bn Cmdr I had in 1st Tanks who made us take the names off our tank’s gun tube because it wasn’t nice

  361. Who is the poophead that has ordered this no “breaking wind” thingy. Some one step up to the plate and FART. Better yet step up to the camera and light one. Mongo, does anyone remember Mongo? Mongo would not be happy. ToFu and no beans for you.

    Semper Fi.

  362. i am a muslim.i agree that this ban against farting is ridiculous.but please restrain from offending muslims.i repeat regardless of what you have witnessed or endured in afghansitan,homosexuality,disrespecting women,shitting in a corner are not allowed in islam.btw fart away:P

  363. CheddarRipDaCheese on

    these guys should record the best ones and play them over loud speakers into the mountains and into Pakistan

  364. Holy Cow, they really are trying to pacify you jarheads. Well he’s a fart all the way to you from the states. In fact my office buddy and I will fart away for those of you who can’t….

  365. LOL, this is HYSTERICAL! I absolutely love it! Only we Marines need to be told to stop farting! Indeed, farting is part of the Marine Corps Olympics and there are numerous try out events through out the Marine Corps on all stations and ships at sea. Even this old broken down Marine gets a swagger in his step when he passes a little gas, gas, gas! Besides, all those Marine farts are considered fresh air in Washington, DC, especially in the White House and on Capitol Hill. Oorah and Semper fi my brothers.

  366. Pingback: As Heard On Jody Dean: Friday, 08/26/2011

  367. Guarionex Sandoval on

    So we’re worried about offending by farts Afghani soldiers who see nothing wrong with having bacha bazi?

  368. RezMarine0811 on

    How to warn your Afghan ally:

    1. Before you blast yell; “Fire out the hole”.

    2. After blasting, report “Bore clear, one away”.

    I’m paraphrasing but (butt?)It worked as a cannon cocker (Is that word allowed or did I offend someone?).

  369. I linked to this article from DRUDGE Report, had a good morning chuckle reading it. It seems clear to me now that this war could be easily won if our brave warriors were to fart into some bullhorns and megaphones pointed in the general direction of the bad guys. Or how ’bout projecting the hilarious campfire bean eatin’ scene from Blazing Saddles onto an M-1 battlefield drive-in screen, with surround-sound? Surely our omniscient generals who puked this no-farting policy realize how to turn American’s cultural advantage (fart tolerance) into a weapon of mass gas against these weak-kneed whiners. Duty First, lads.

  370. Barry bin Inhalin on

    The politically correct have been allowed to (try) and ruin the USMC too.

    F’em.

  371. there is no more leadership,from butterbars to the commander in chief,just a bunch of perfume princes!

  372. Yes my real name! I’m not afraid, come get me! Are you fucking kidding me? Our military men risk their lives for hundreths of a penny on the dollar and you are worried about “offending” the Afghans? I know its not for money but for our country. But come on! This is bullshit Pentagon, Marines, if you wish cropdust the shit out of the Afghans. God Bless our troops and God Bless our country. America!!!!

  373. Boys, as a proud supporter of the Military, I am only too pleased to ship you a case of B&M Baked Beans. I only request that when you let one rip and an Afghan, that you have your lighter ready to touch it off.

  374. They are offended by farting. Well I’m offended by their stealing from us, lying to us, and giving those damned Chinese access to our military equipment we’re using to help them. They can go to Hell. We need to get out. Maybe Pootie can get photographed in Afghanistan.

  375. Really? Looks like change for the sake of change is alive and well in the military. Here’s a thought, why not have finishing and etiquette school part of the boot camp curriculum.

    Or, we can fart more often to motivate the Afghans to get their crap together so we can get out of that lovely piece of hell on earth. How’s that for an exit strategy?

  376. Ben Franklin wrote and published an article titled

    “Fart Proudly”

    Let all Marines know they are in good company!!!

  377. Bring our boys home. The Politicians have tied their hands behind their back at every turn. End the left wing rule of our military during times of war, get the lawyers out of the wars we fight and bring our damn boys home.

    Plus when are you boys going to lock up the commie in the white house? Obama?

  378. OMG this is an unbelievable story. I am a Navy vet,ca148`72-`76.

    I hope you guys dont mind me chiming in. This pc crap is going to be our undoing if we do not get it under control.

    My hat is off to all you guys. God Bless ya.

    and let your God given bodily functions rip!

  379. Wow, Political Correctness is Afghan, what a joke. These Clowns wipe their ASSES with hands and their worried about being offended by Farting.

  380. RezMarine0811 on

    If VietNam was the arm pit of the world, than Afghanistan is lower and to the rear (and blowing smoke out it’s…center).

  381. This is the kind of PC crap that brought us he Ft. Hood shooting. Next thing you know, you’ll have to bow and kiss their feet. Disgusting.

  382. You got to be kidding me!! What are they gonna do, Article 15 a troop for farting? Or would that be “failure to follow orders”? Cause Lord knows, Afghans don’t fart!

    We need not bring PC to the battlefield.

    BTW: I’m offended by the Afghans body odor which is more more long-lasting than a fart.

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  384. If this article is true, then Afghanistan violates the most immutable law of anthropology: if a culture forbids asking after the women (Good morning, how’s your wife?), or even look at them, then it’s alright to break wind whenever you feel the urge. I find the causal relationship cited by the Corps to be tenuous at best, and most likely completely mistaken. The grunts are more likely to be right than the generals, you can be sure.

  385. Screw that entire region of the world….we should leave them to kill one another and just stand by to shoot down any airplane that attempts to leave Middle Eastern airspace.

  386. Coming so soon on the heels of their previous nonsensical order, specifically ordering troops not to shoot the enemy EVEN IF IT SHOOTS AT THEM OR IS LAYING A ROADSIDE BOMB (unless and until they secure permission), this one makes our military commanders candidates for (or perhaps escapees of) the Cuckoo’s Nest!

    When I served, my DUTY was to KILL THE ENEMY! Not to be careful to not offend them.

    No wonder it takes 13 years to “win” a war!

  387. If the Marines food cause the gas then why not include a “beano” pill in each pack. I don’t know about you but trying to hold in farts all the time sounds like a distraction that could get you killed in war zone.

  388. Surely, this originated with some civilian goodie two-shoes and got shuffled through by an 0100 office pogue with a bunch of other BS. I agree, Chesty would f’n explode and order everyon on line, drop-em about face and let ‘er rip by the numbers!

  389. If our military is being ordered to cooperate with al-qaeda in Libya, it should come as no surprise that our corrupt leaders are gonna fart in you guys’ (and the rest of our) faces by telling you not to fart around these jokers.

  390. i don’t care if you fart or cuss. Just kill the enemy and come home safe. Pol. correctness is B.S. We love you back home.

  391. Farting is offensive? Just wait til the afghans get a load of the homosexuals that are serving openly now. Their heads will explode, and I don’t mean a turban bomb.

  392. How as(s)inine!!!!!

    I wonder if this “odor order” originated with the muslim-n-chief? It may be part of his muslim apology program!

  393. This is a good order by the pentagon. Chemical warfare was banned after WW1. But in all seriousness wtf? This counrty’s vag is getting bigger and bigger. Fart all you want soldiers. My next care package will include nothing but beans. Keep up the good work troops and get home safe.

  394. These rag heads can come over here and tell us what to do and change this whole country because of that pathetic moron in the white house-what is wrong with this damn country we are now living in?? this moron imposter needs to be impeached and sent back to kenya with his whole bunch of goons!

  395. Old Corps Cookie on

    You’ve got to be kidding! Right? The stuff they gave us to cook and no farting? The truly offensive part of the story is that is that it wasn’t published on April 1st.

  396. Let them know that there is more room on the outside than the inside…What do they do, let their bows push so hard that they have pains?

    I bet the french would have a serious problem with that order.

    Come home soon…we miss ya and need you at home.

  397. I am a woman and I don’t get the farting thing. My husband will sometimes push and grunt to get one out and then look at me like he is expecting applause or something. It’s gross! I think there are certain things that should be done in private or as inconspicuously as possible no matter where you are or who you are with. It is called being polite.

  398. we are supposed to be the most powerful nation in the world with the best wepons, to bad we dont have anyone with the balls to use them. we have turned into a naion of sissys. shame on us ,we offend our own people but not the enemy

  399. are you kidding me? Afghanistan was the result of a God “spray-fart”. Its actually rude not to blow huge gassers there. Its a sign of respect to the creator.

  400. Some of our generals are so “educated” they have become stupid in regards to reality. These are MARINES, not headwaiters for the Embassy/State Dept REMFs.

    This is what happens when the Generals surround themselves with E9s who are yes men and buttkissers that don’t stand up for the troops when it comes to idiocy like this. Who don’t tell them “Do you know how dumb you will make all the leadership look making this decision for troops in a combat theater?”

    If the troops aren’t allowed to fart, are they going to prosecute the Food Service Officers for feeding them MREs, T-Rats or UGR rations, which produce prodigious amounts of gas?

  401. I’m a civilian and am not having to fight this trash of a culture however I say strike the heisman pose and let’er rip!!!!

  402. Oh, for Pete’s sake!! Just bring our boys home!! Next think you know they’re going to tell them they can’t have ammo or they might hurt someone!! (Oh, yeah, I forgot…they already do THAT, too!!) These aren’t WARS, they’re a deadly joke!!!!

  403. Somebody mentioned “fartboarding”. What a marvelous idea. The interrogator eats lima beans and sauercraut, then backs up to the detainee and “RIPPPPPPPP”. Instant confession and all kinds of intel. Works for me. Semper Fi!

  404. Political Correctness reaches a new low. This is why we it takes so long to accomplish anything.

  405. why is it a perogative what an enemy we defeated on the battlefield thinks?

    the whole reason that iraq and afghanistan are NOT going well and appear to be going on forever (until a politician decides its over, declares victory, pulls out, and 10 years later we need to do it again) is precisely this kind of thing.

    when japan and germany were defeated in world war 2, we declared martial law, shot those looting or engaged in armed resistance on sight, and told them what their new constitution would be before letting them vote on it.

    now, we need to ask permission to do combat patrols, cant shoot at night lest we wake them, have some of the stupidest rules of engagement i have ever heard of, and refuse to use our overwhelming military might (airstrikes, artillery, etc) and instead wage a low intensity conflict. a low intensity conflict that anyone, even us, is incapable of winning since all they have to do is wait us out – while we would have to be committed to staying forever, and we are obviously not.

    “Our Country won’t go on forever, if we stay soft as we are now. There won’t

    be any AMERICA because some foreign soldiery will invade us and take our

    women and breed a hardier race!”

    -Lt. Gen. Lewis B. “Chesty” Puller, USMC

  406. I think the Marines and all U.S. military branches have the most professional people in the world in their ranks. I expect the higher ups feel farting can be a bit childish and detracts from that. Same reasons as to why our troops wear uniforms instead of rags and have to follow the rules of war and can’t abuse prisoners. This is what makes our troops BETTER THAN THEY ARE!!

  407. MSgt J. Radosevich USMC (Ret) on

    Why do you think the combat troops are ‘politely’ referred to as ‘GRUNTS’?

    Semper Fi!

  408. Farting for sport is disgusting — now matter what culture you come from. This does seem to be problem with some men in the United States. What kind of infantile moron thinks it’s funny to fart on or at people? It’s not funny, it’s repulsive. Who raised you guys — a pack of ass monkeys? I’m embarrassed that our so-called finest men need to be reminded how to behave with dignity.

  409. As soon as the Afghans stop killing little puppies,cutting off clits,and stop wiping their rear end with their hands with no paper…oh yeah, and stop shipping heroin around the world we will cut farting down but never stop farting….in fact when I see an Afghan ,I am going to make a point of farting while I move to the wind side for full effect.

  410. the same afghans in uniform that open up on our troops when possible,,maybe thats why they do

  411. Really?! You mean we can’t fart on deployment because it may offend the pedophiles? Well, those S.O.B.s have some habits that offend me too, especially their penchant for the bacha bazi, treatment of women worse than livestock, etc. BOTTOM LINE: It’s not worth the life, limb, or eye of another LCpl or young Lt to defend perversity, islam, and the Afghan way. We just can’t bring the 8th century into the 21st.

  412. my grandson arrived at bagram hungry last year. the clerk, a local guy, was busy, trimming his toenails…with his teeth. but he wasn’t farting.

  413. This asinine order to Marines in Afghanistan has undoubtedly come down from some pc schoolmarm in the White House or Pentagon. It should be a front-runner to win some sort of award like “Stupidest Regulation of the Year”. Wtf, you pc morons!

    As a protest and in solidarity to the Marines, is there a way that everyone can send a healthy fart to this 8th century caveman country? They really need to be offended, if this is all they have to worry about.

  414. What do you think Patton, Eisenhower or MacArthur would have done if they were told to keep their men from Farting because it offends the French or the Filipino’s . Such an order would make me fart even more than I do now.

    Where are the Patton’s Eisenhower and MacArthur’s of our time? Are they that afraid or Liberals and the PC crowd?

  415. I am holding a support our Marines “Fart in” “Flash Mob” at 12:00 sharp tomorrow…Saturday Aug 27 in front of the Pentagon. Or should it be in front of the Afghan Embassy? Thoughts? Irene is will be in full force….such a mighty wind or wet ones!

  416. Otown Right Guy on

    Well maybe the Afghan men will stop doing what they do with those “dancing boys”. Bring the troops home. What is the mission?

    Ron Paul 2012

  417. Fart away!!! I am a mom of 3 boys. Farting or excuse me flatulence is normal and means we have a healthy digestive system 🙂

  418. Dear mom of 2: The problem with word check is that it does not understand the appropriateness of the word. Your use of the word “gentile” is probably more offensive to the Afghans than all the flatulence (farts) produced by the entire contingent of “jarheads” presently “in country”. The word, mocking though it may be, is “genteel”. To understand the Afghans I recommend reading James Mitchner’s “Caravans”. Served with E-2-12-3rd MarDiv 1955-56 and H & S Bat. 10th 2nd MarDiv 56-57. Son of a Belleau Wood “Devil Dog” and Brother to a “Frozen Chosin” Few. Both Silver Star Awardees.

    After driving from Eagle Pass TX to Del Rio TX on the Mexican side of the Rio Grande I find it hard to believe that any Marine’s fart could, much less would, impair the air quality except maybe in the high mountain passes.

  419. These Afghans live in caves like pigs, wear the same dirty ‘robes’ around the clock for a couple of weeks at a time, squat on the ground in public t take a crap and smell like the goats that they herd and eat and they are offended by a human bodily function? Like they don’t, themselves, fart? Give me a break !!!!

  420. Joe Aderholdt on

    It’s hard to believe that people who wipe their butts with their bare hands would be terribly offended by a simple fart…but what do I know? I spent my military time offending Vietnamese.

  421. What HAS our military come to?? THIS is what our generals sit in the Pentagon and come up with?? BRING OUR GUYS AND GALS home and leave the Afghans to live in the dark ages!

  422. JW - Grateful Civilian on

    You’ve got to be kidding me. Stop a biological function. Right. I know the Commander-n-Chief has no backbone but you would think that wouldn’t have spread to the Pentagon. To all the brass that passed this…..go eat some beans. To all the Jarheads….thanks and God Bless

  423. As an ARMY GRUNT, the ONLY reason to EVER hold in a fart, is so that you don’t spook the little bastard’s before you SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD!!!!!!

  424. Ok, How much more PC and we get.

    HMMM, I know!!! Muslims are offended by … Therefore all non-muslims should not be allowed in the mid-east and must go home now!!!

    And here I thought war, by its nature, involved violence.

    Just another example of the George Bush Torture Tactics.

  425. US-Army-are-baby-murderers on

    Be carefull you might shat on some poppi plants, or your fart could warn the civilians your about to murder them. Our military is just as treasonous as our president and you should all be investigated individually for following unlawfull orders.

    When’s the last time you actually protected america? Not in any of your lifetimes I can tell you that.

    Baby killers. Murderers. Thugs. The lot of you. We don’t want you home stay there.

  426. Craig E. Holmes IC2 SS US NAVY 1967-1971

    these people don’t know the meaning of personal hygiene and have the nerve to be offended by a “natural” bodily function!

  427. I thought overturning DADT was bad, but now you have these armchair generals at the Pentagram (misspelling intended) dictating flatulance…so, no farting? I suppose burping is next? Clearly, these are things that must be enforced in a war zone and especially on combat patrols…I’m sure somebody got promoted or a bronze star for coming up with idea.

  428. Oh yea we can’t break wind but those Hash soaked pedophiles can have “gay Thursday” everyday of the week huh? What a crock of unadulerated bullsh–. Send our men home and let those rage filled, cave dwelling prehistoric a–holes kill each other.
    I guess sucking on a straw and staring at the sun will have to do after we leave…good riddence…a– monkeys.

  429. Navy beans???

    SEMPER FI Marines…

    the pentagram is full of tutu wearin’ ol’ farts…jist ax adm mullet…usn ret sends…

  430. Can’t kill the enemy can’t fart.what’s next stop breathing what bs screw these afghans a holes

  431. Time to write ‘FART” on a nuke and drop it… we need to leave now!

    signed, disabled usaf vet

  432. The first and only duty of any MARINE is to KILL the enemy first and in such numbers that the civilian population will give up and no longer support their fighters. And that is the only duty of any and all MARINES, don’t like it get out of the Corps and go join the peace corps.

  433. Our CIC sez that man-on-man sex is OK in the USMC, but not farting? Sheeetz… when my foxhole private and I have finished exchanging bodily fluids, nothing tops it off better that a long wet fart.

    Next time CIC comes out to the desert I’d love to give him a tour of my trench… knowing he’d drop Michelle like a bad transmission…

  434. I saw a can of Instant Fart the other day in a novelty store at the mall. I plan on buying 25 cans of it and sending to the Marines to FART all they want while protecting those weak Afghans who are so afraid of even a fart. No wonder they are not a free people.

  435. The afghan “”culture”” from what I have observed has NOT A LOT, to give them grounds to complain about!!

    Gerald Easson, former MARINE.

  436. Those people wipe their butts with their bare left hand and yet they find farting disgusting? It just proves they are out of their minds and barely worth the efforts and lives of our best and brightest.

  437. Thank God we have “farting” Marines that are willing to keep us safe. The Afghan’s rules don’t apply to us as we are shedding precious Marines’ blood for that God forsaken place. Semper Fi!!!!!!!!

  438. The Corps is stoppen on the Ants and the Elephants are running wild. Is this “Farting” a Non-Judicial Punishment Offense, if so, the I as the Commanding Officer, would suspend any action until the legality of this obnoxious, stinking, odorous Pentagon Order is determine to be a legal order!

  439. Pingback: REPORT: MARINES BANNED FROM FARTING IN AFGHANISTAN « Romanticpoet's Weblog

  440. 26-year Retired Vet…all I can say is

    To all the PC brown nosers in the Pentagon…”I FART in your general direction”

  441. Breaking wind in the presence of others is offensive and ill mannered, if not uncouth. It may be humorous for junior high school kids, but such conduct by a United States Marine in the presence of an allie demeans the legacy of the fighting men who stormed the shores of Iwo Jima and Normandy. Give respect and earn respect Marines… be what others strive to be.

  442. Their body odor is worse than a fart could smell any day!! Be yourselves boys and let ’em rip!!

  443. As an ARMY grunt, the ONLY reason for EVER holding in a fart is so that you don’t spook the little bastards before you shoot them in THE HEAD!!!!!

  444. General Sir, I am disinclined to aquester your request? NO, THIS SHOULD BE: General Sir, I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. There is no such word as “aquester”, even in Afghanistan.

  445. I’m not a soldier, and I haven’t been to Afghanistan. What I do know is that Afghan men like goats and young boys for companionship. Maybe, they like their farts and that’s not joke!

  446. Boys, it is all about the Silent but Deadly, let em go clean, squeeze them out among yer Afghan fellows, them smirk in satisfaction.

  447. It is the job of the USMC to “fight our country’s battles on the land and on the sea”. You CAN NOT have the best train walking weapons of mass destruction and NOT offend someone! We don’t send in the USMC to make friends! We send them in to blow stuff up and kill our enemies! My message to the USMC, Kill’em, tea bang’em and fart on them! If the Afghans are offend by that then hey, don’t pick a fight with us next time!

  448. Childish and vulgar behavior certainly isn’t what the Corp. used to be about. Has it come to this… Do I want this to be the image of the Corp.? No I don’t. I want the corp recognized as the nations’ finest fighting force who will win our nation’s battles.

    Semper Fidelis!!!

  449. I am notorious for my S.B.D.’s…and am on my way there soon. I will represent for you brothers. Semper Fi!

  450. When Marines are called upon to fight our nation’s battle, they are representing the United States of America and the U.S. Marine Corp. I would hope Marines present themselves as professional and furocious fighting units. That is what we deserve and expect from our fellow Marines. I do not like this attitude whereby some feel they properly represent the Corp. by farting all over the place. Walk through the shopping mall in your homedown in your uniform and fart up a storm and see how much respect you get. You joined the Marines to be a lean, mean fighting machine, not a farting machine.

  451. Jimmy Catholic on

    Their country, their rules. For all of those marines who lost their freedom to fart, they should have a fart-off in Dick Cheney’s compound, or in any of the homes of the idiots that made them go there in the first place.

  452. Not only all that, but the Afghans continue to grow opium poppies which create opium and derivatives to poison our population. Why not send the air force in to kill all the plants and fields. Then, with the all the money-making gone, Al-Quaeda and the Taliban would have nothing to fight about anymore. Then we can teach the farmers how to grow something else—that isn’t so deadly.

  453. Are we enlisted (ex-here) men and women being elevated in our military status?

    I have long suspected that ‘Gentlemen/women’ and ‘Politicians”

    SHIT doesn’t stink and they don’t FART either….

    Now that ‘it’ is out…..

    Aaaah !!! I feel better now…..aaaaahhh!….

    Oh what a relief it is………

  454. I’m a retired Sgt Maj (Grunt) and it’s a good thing that I’m Retired.

    I have a son and 2 grandsons that have borne the hardships for those nasty assed bastards.

    They get offended at Marines Fartinf yet they wipe their Ass with their left hand.

    If I were there I would be tempted to remove the left hand and make them use their right hand to cleanse their dirty ass holes and eat with the same hand or starve to death and visit Alah!

    I would also see a good Marine Corps cook and get a slab or pork and beat the hell out of them with it since they prefer their scuzzy animals to Pork!

    Yes maybe it’s best that I have been Retired for over 31 years!

    Semper Fi

    Ed Grealish

    Sgt Maj U.S.M.C.

  455. FormerMarine68-70 on

    I wonder how it makes the guys downrange feel, knowing their govt is more concerned with crap like this rather than getting their butts home safely. What a slap in the face.

    Be a true Marine and to hell with the rest of ’em.

  456. retired old fart on

    Come on now ,they are working under a “ball-less” comander in cheif ,and it looks like the trend is flowing down through the brass. Comeon home boys ,secure our borders and let them fight their own war !!!!

  457. Apparently Afghans don’t fart, they just wipe their asses with their left hand. I hope they shake with the right, all they do with that one is masterbate and eat boiled chicken guts. But they do observe their Islamic religion…they only screw certain farm animals…no pigs or allah will punish them.

    What a culture and just think we are bringing it to America, too.

  458. So Marines now have to excuse themselves from the war because they have the vapours? That’s nice. It’s taken 236 years, but they’re finally learning to conduct themselves like proper young ladies.

  459. These 7th century throwbacks bang goats and little boys and farts “offend” them?

    You’d think it’d turn them on. Maybe that’s the real reason for the ban.

  460. You have to be kidding me. Not like the old Corps thats for sure. Then poeple wounder why we loose war’s. All this Poltical correct stuff is Bull. Keep farting boys.

    E/7 Jack Sempi-Fi

  461. 1952 Navy WAVE Audrey on

    Fifty-five years ago I married a Marine just back from Korea. This seemed to be a “thing” shared with his buddies. Now I find out ya’ all do it!! Well carry on! I laughed for several minutes while reading all the remarks above. Humor lives even in the worst places! God bless you all.

  462. ? really? cannot fart downrange? It could be a security issue..sounds and smells.. but offensive in a culture that wipes their ass with the left hand? is offended by alcohol, but carries a RPG? thinks a cell fone is for setting off bombs but wants women to cover their faces and bodies? Just level the place and Pakistan with it..

  463. I guess this means that little Afghani children never learn the “Pull My Finger” game from their Fathers. Yet another reason why our culture is superior to theirs!

  464. This insanity has to stop. Cut loose and let it rip. BTW … I’m a conservative, smart, informed female with higher education. Throw these bums out .. NOW!

  465. Maybe they should hold it in until they run into a Taliban brigade and THEN let it rip all in unison.

  466. I don’t know know about my “Leatherneck buds”, but this Sailor would gladly cut the cheese and give ALL those Afghani Ambassadors from the “Religion of Peace” a nice wet one. It would smell a helluva lot better than their women. Having spent a month in another Islamic paradise, Yemen, many years ago, watching these sheet heads crap in the street, this Navyman would glady suffer a Captian’s Mast to “Fart away”…..in their mosques and clear the decks!

  467. You’ve got to be kidding. Some things never change like the brass inventing shit to bust Marines’ chops about. Come on “Sir” don’t you have more important shit to worry about?

  468. I have to give credit to the pc-police for one thing; their idiocy brings amazing opportunities for written venting on messageboards. And to the marines victimized by cranial infarction, better out than in.

    To the list of alternative nomenclature I will add:

    E-flat sphinctophone

    F-sharp swinette…both coined by a musically talented friend whose ear could determine the actual musical quality of such emanations…

    Then there is the common “zephyr” and vaguely polite “broken wind”.

    And a word of wisdom to all…”flatulence is golden…unless it is brown”.

  469. DALE CHAMBERS on

    It is my understanding the Afganians’ body odor can knock you out of the ball park. Knock off complaining about a natural body function!

  470. This no farting policy is good. With the end of don’t ask dont tell and gays being able to serve openly. We don’t want any straight Marines doing anything that might excite the homosexual Marines. To them the odor of a fart is like the perfume of those fine Philippena barmaids in Subick Bay for the normal “straight” Marine.

  471. Michael J. Hanlon on

    When I was in the Army, I was taught the following normenclature:

    Bag, Sleeping, (1) each, Mummy Style M-1948 = fart sack.

    The Big Green gave me a weapons carrier that I could self-load. I just regret I never had a chance to unleash the power of that weapon on the NVA.

    Joking aside, I am very concerned that this ROE is in place. I was once told by a senior NCO to never give an order I knew could not be obeyed. I pray you all come home safe and sound. Your generation is one of the Great Ones. Thank you.

  472. Pingback: For Marines in Afghanistan: be careful where you fart « Evil of indifference

  473. fart-book.com “If they’re not spread apart it’s not a real fart!”.

    If you want to make music and let your sphincter sing send your clips. The site is new, so all who submit will be emailed as soon as the site goes live so you can view and vote on the Thor of Thundah from Down Undah!

    All submissions are voluntary, confidential, and become property of the site.

    Email vids or audio to fart-book@live.com if you want. The site is fart-book.com. I will get a section put together to honor all of the military who can be ordered to die and now ordered to be silent.

    All submissions are voluntary, confidential, and become property of the site.

  474. Tatiana Covington on

    Indiana College Bans “Too Violent” National Anthem. First it banned the words, now the whole song. By Greg Wilson

    View Comments (670)

    http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/sports/Indiana-College-Bans-Too-Violent-National-Anthem-128394343.html

    The National Anthem is a tradition at sporting events, but it is banned at Indiana’s tiny Goshen College, which has banned “The Star Spangled Banner” at all sporting events because the Mennonite school’s president considers the National Anthem’s words to be too violent.

    The 1,000-student school had already banned the words last year, but the band could still play the music for patriots in attendance. Now, the school has banned the song entirely, according to NBC Sports.

    The school’s board of directors told college President Jim Brenneman to “find an alternative to playing the National Anthem that fits with sports tradition, that honors country and that resonates with Goshen College’s core values and respects the views of diverse constituencies.”

    Brenneman was okay with that. “I am committed to retaining the best of what it means to be a Mennonite college, while opening the doors wider to all who share our core values,” Brenneman said. “And I invite others to join us at Goshen College as we make peace in all of its forms, even with the national anthem.”

    Art professor John Blosser told The Goshen News that there is much national pride at the school, but that most people aren’t going to blindly accept what the country does.

    NBC Sports’ Rick Chandler weighed in, saying: “I suppose we could have followed the example of the Mennonites and simply fled, giving the nation back to the British. But then we’d all be playing cricket.”

    [How weenie can you get? TC]

  475. Pingback: Blowin' Biscuits in the Afghan Wind « watch for falling bears

  476. Pingback: Blowin’ Biscuits in the Afghan Wind « watch for falling bears

  477. You all seem to have a good time pounding your chest about having the right to fart anyplace anytime! Ever thought about why we are there? It sure isn’t to save their ass! it is to kill Al Qaeda and defeat/punish their host: Taliban. It seems there is a confusion about the regular Afghan vs Taliban. I would be willing to bet that a Marine would rather not offend an Afghan and parlay that respect to having the Afghans telling him where the IEDs are and who are the bad guys. I want my son, your sons and daughters, moms and dads to be victorious and come home honorably and safe. Let’s not distract them with BS. They deserve better. We turned two arch enemies into allies by understanding their culture and working with them (Japan has an emperor still), unlike the communists that destroy others so they can build their own. It doesn’t work; witness USSR. God Bless America.

  478. Well, this is something that is long overdue. Having served in the USArmy attched to USMC CAP Units in ‘Nam, Class of ’68, I noticed that Army farts are quite normal while Marine farts are offensive. Yes, instead of helping our families out at home while we’re over seas, the Brass should hurry up and develop a Powerpoint Presentation for the current CIC, while he’s still at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

    somebody, puhleeeze give me a break.

  479. Machinegun Mike on

    I have an idea, while that scum bag towelie is taking his last breath and we stand over him showing our flag, fart in his face and tell him you had bacon for breakfast.

  480. Key question for any politician running for national office:

    “Do you support the Marine’s right to audibly fart?”

    If no – vote no.

  481. Pingback: Marines in Afghanistan: No Farting “Aloud” |

  482. My good lord! As a British ex-SF soldier, The ragheads think farting, talking about women and drinking alcohol is offensive, and yet they will happily stone a woman to death in public!!! Double standards or what???

  483. #281 (Expert) pontificates-

    “control of one’s functions and emotions, of peak importance in the presence of others”

    An obvious apologist for anything PC, huh?

    Then tell me about the manliness of controlling one’s emotions, much less intellect, and using ink on paper cartoons as a justification for property-damaging, violent, rampaging and killing, er, loss of emotional discipline.

    Sure, you can serve their ideas up on fine bone china with the silverware and Irish linen, but digging deep in Islamic practice, logic or tradition/law trying to justify, via reason and logic, what they do is as pointless as suggesting we use cheesecloth to carry water.

  484. Funny, I was on a night OP with some ANP, and you would think because it’s night ops and an OP, you might want to be still and quiet (at least that’s what my military training led me to believe). But on the other hand you have to tell your Afghan partner force to shut up because they are farting and laughing so loud and obnoxious, I am surprised the Taliban Horde did not come over the mountain…just saying…

  485. …sorry I forgot to mention they were high…how about they respect their own culture before we are expected to…

  486. I’ll Be Damned…I wonder if it bothers the enemy ?

    … Just one more reason to suspect those in command…

    …are they freeking Nuts !

    Whoever thought up this crap..ought to be fed a daily diet of beans…and walk poit for…forever, or untill he resignes, or is Courts Martialed ! Let him wear a gas-mask till the air is proven clear….

    Carl

    -Carl L. Moore at; Song_Ben_Hai_Ma@yahoo.com

    Me & M3A1….30+ YEARS AGO at A-2.

    http://rvnghost.user.livecloud.com/

    STD/SMS-Commando

    http://nktvn.tripod.com/stdhome.html

    C7F/26th TAB Viet~Nam

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/C-F-26thARTILLERY-TAB/

  487. They aren’t satisfied with our Marines being deadly, they want them to be silent but deadly?

  488. Nope not like the old Corp. Fart when ever U feel like it!

    Tell every Afghan “CATCH THAT & PAINT IT RED”…iF HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND, HE’S AN iDIOT.

  489. Pingback: I have an IQ in the top 2%. And I don’t care about the other 95% | Rodney's space

  490. That list of names great. We can add a few more to it that would appropriate for this situation.

    Breaking Wind Laden (Bin Laden)

    Afghan Apricots

    Afghan Air Biscuits

    Ripping A Sodom Insane (Saddam Hussein)

    RPG = Raunchy Poop Gas

    Roadside Stink Bomb

  491. I want ANY Marine that gets a Captain’s Mass or even just a threat of ANY article under the UCMJ or Geneva Convention with regards to farting to contact me IMMEDIATELY and I will assist you in a multi-million lawsuit not only against Afghanisan, but against ANY MORON that imposes any such threats or charges.

    THIS is a critical medical situation and for ANY Marine to have to endure losing focus of his mission when outside the wire because of some of the dumb masses in Afghanistan, this could lead to the loss of life of not only that Marine b ut his unit as well.

    CONTACT ME: USMC0351Grunt@yahoo.com

    Gregory Romeu

    B 1/7 – Weapons Plt – Old Corps.

    We’ll teach those bastards how to run a war yet!

  492. chuck in st paul on

    Awww geez, you guys got it all wrong again.

    It’s not the noise. What command sent down was an order to stop all the farting because of global warming. Until each Marine has purchased the appropriate number of Satanic Gases indulgences, they are ordered not to release all that methane and CO2 into the atmosphere. You may not say, “Pull my finger,” without the appropriate carbon offsets.

    That is all. Carry on.

  493. The irony I see is that as our military technology advances, the cultural level of our enemies and allies declines. The Vietnamese I met and worked with were clean, neat, and pretty much like Americans in their attitudes towards sex, though some of the men were a little effeminate. Their homes, even down to the little huts between paddies, were neat, and I never saw any evidence of “fouling their own nest”. Women knew their place – the home – but were not normally mistreated and would be quite hospitable to a young Marine willing to listen to gossip. Ever since, the quality has gone down, to the drug peddling, human trafficking Kosovars, assorted suicidal Arab psychos, and now down to hygeinically challenged “allies” whose behavior would get them thrown out of the raunchiest gay bar. My question is: how could/why would people so disgusting even make such a complaint? The must be used to such smells. It sounds like it’s just another way they can criticise Americans.

  494. Next, we will be required to wear Red coats, march in a straight line, carry a standard visibly, and beat drums.

    WTH!!!!!!!!@#$%^&*(

  495. If you are a Marine I owe you an apology. I am retired Army and I always said that the Marines ain’t that tough. Well I’m wrong. If you are tough enough to go without farting you beat the Army hands down. My platoon would have exploded if we had that requirement put on them. I’m sorry men and Semper Fi!

  496. Arby H Ret SFC USA on

    Time to leave the mid-east entirely. THe culture clash alone makes it so. Too bad for them and their 1000 year tribal crap. Nothing good about the mid-east for a Soldier, only the war profiteers win. No way this extension there until 2024 is a good idea. It is total BS, and nothing good will come of it. It may even draw us into conflict because we sit on both sides of Iran.

  497. Isn’t there any frogs over there you stepped on instead ?

    Semper Fi Marines and you can fart in my house anytime and I am Air Force but American first praying and supporting you.

    Thank You so much for ALL you do, Farting and all.

  498. My husband who was C-130 pilot said that when they farted in the aircraft they would say “Howdy” so others would know a smell was coming and he has silent killers.

    Mine are more toot toot tug boats (We have been married a long time and I held them for years but had to fart )

    I am female enlisted from Private to retiring as Major and respect each and every jarhead, grunt, seaman, and other brothers in service and although guests in a country, body functions are body functions.

    The Surgeon General needs to make a memo belching and farting are normal functions of the body letting it know it needs to get out. Maj. B and the other Maj B (husband)

  499. This is hiliarious. I was on a mentor team in Afghanistan and sat with Afghans with poop still on their hands after using the can.

    Not to mention most of the Afghans we met with didnt care if we didnt follow thier culture exactly because we were Americans and they understood that. Plus we were winners when it came to war and we were there to teach them how to be winners.

  500. Wait, what ?

    This people burp in your face after every meal to show how tasty it was and they’re offended because our troops fart ?

    Have they had their nostrils remove or something, they’re offended by farts, are they unable to smell how discusting theire kind of foodit is ?

    All those weird, spicy spices that they use ?

    I have an Afghan guy at work, and he’s been requested that when he warm his food in the microwave use Lisol after, because it STINK worse than fresh vomit or the most juicy fart…

  501. I would like to add one to the list. My ex never let a fart pass without saying ” there goes another motor mouse”, or some variation on that theme.

    I think there are few men who would fart in their mother’s parlor, but let’s be realistic. Where they congregate, boys will be boys and men will be men. Potty humor is as old as is humankind and it is not going to go away.

    Respecting a culture that is beneath contempt is not going to sway the balance of power in a war. Like Nam this “war” is unwinable because the politicians are not committed to winning it. That is the bottom line. Silly inane rules like this “No farting” one is just the tip of the iceburg of this commitment to lose.

    Bring the boys home, we have no business being there. If we are not committed to winning then we should get out. And even if we were I don’t think that the Afganistanis would tolerate becoming a civilized people. As a concept it is foreign to every aspect of their lives.

    The ruled ultimately can not be governed if they do not accept their leaders or their tyrants. It is a truism that ” The governed get the goverment that they deserve.”

  502. Pingback: J.A.R.D. 8.28.11 « Falcon’s Eyrie

  503. For the next year I will dedicate all my Farts to the Marines by singing out THAT FART IS IN HONOR FOR THOSE THAT ARE “first to fight for right and freedom. ” The Marines are ask to give their lives… and “while your at it” no freedom of speech is allowed – in fact, they can’t even make a noise! Ok! Let’s speak out for them and “let er rip.”

  504. Michael J. Hanlon on

    I would have expected an order like this from the US Army. Apparently, it only applies to the USMC. I can’t figure out why only Marine farts are offensive. After all these years, the USMC deceides the Afghani are offended. ROE’s like this mean it is time to bring you home.

  505. That’s ridiculous, but seems to be the way the Military as a whole is turning into. We were STRICTLY enforced not to talk while dropping a duece between stalls when a “fellow” Iranian “soldier” was anywhere near us. Because it “insulted” his beliefs. I’m sorry, some of the best conversations have been had while doing some business. I think it’s sad we have to change the way we conduct ourselves to please someone else. No one cares about our opinions on the matter. My beliefs are for freedom, I guess that’s null and void now?

  506. It’s just like they tell you in boot camp: “You can give your soul to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps!”

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